#341. Public Displays of Kanye West

By now – unless you are living in a cave – you are aware of the once controversial cartoon, now innocuous South Park. White people have long enjoyed watching this show that will soon be entering its 15^th season and some conservatives have even tried to show that South Park is an anti-egalitarian show, which of course, incenses Black people.

No one racial group, person, ideology nor religion is safe from the cartoonists who work hard to create South Park and ensure that each week it pushes the envelope of popular culture discourse to a new level of sophisticated lampooning.

The show features a Token Black and has through its nearly 15 year run, poked fun at Black people consistently enough to one day merit an SBPDL entry of its own.

In light of a recent incident that includes the one of the latest South Park celebrity crossovers, that entry must be put on indefinite hold for our old friend Kanye West has supplied more fuel to the suddenly fast spreading fire that is SBPDL.

You may remember Kanye West from the George W. Bush entry or more recently, he was featured as being one of the harbingers of gangsta raps decline into the realm of “no homo”.
Now, West has taken his job as purveyor of all that Black people deem cool and thrown a right-hook into Pre-Obama America’s collective face with his gratifying defense of Beyonce at MTV’s 2009 Video Music Awards (VMA):

"Kanye West gave a performance that will never be forgotten at the MTV Video Music Awards.. stormed on stage to unleash an astonishing rant during an acceptance speech by country starlet Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Music Awards last night.The 19-year-old singer, who was collecting Best Female Video for You Belong To Me, was left humiliated as West snatched the microphone from her hands.

He turned to the audience and shouted that the gong should have gone to his big friend Beyonce, for Single Ladies…Swift had breathlessly began her speech with the words, 'I always wondered what it would be like to maybe win one of these some day, but never actually thought it would happen'.

But before she could continue any further, West leaped from his seat in the audience, ran onto the stage and rushed to grab the microphone as a bemused Swfit struggled to take in what was happening.

West told the stunned star: 'Yo Taylor. I'm really happy for you, I'm going to let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time."

Thankfully, Kanye exited the stage he was uninvited to be upon before he could mutter, “George Bush doesn’t like Black people,” again.

Kanye West has been portrayed as the epitome of coolness in advertisements for Pepsi and Absolute Vodka, as in the latter ad, apparent uncool people take tablets to become cool:

“He may or may not need anger management, but Kanye West definitely knows how to self-promote. Here’s an ad he “visioned” for Absolut Vodka where members-only wearing hipsters take large Alka-Seltzer-like pills to be Kanye for a while.”

By extension, the ultimate manner in which to be cool in THE AGE OF OBAMA – and according to Absolute Vodka – is to emulate the behavior of Kanye West by becoming him.

According to the logic of the ad, at every Taylor Swift concert henceforth, people must stumble onto the stage and denigrate this great singer for not living up to Beyonce’s level of entertainment, as Kanye West did as the 2009 VMA awards.

After all, if Kanye West defines cool, then we must emulate him.

Interestingly, the VMA Awards on MTV have long been home to some jaw-dropping moments that have left people scratching their heads:

1984

At the First Annual MTV Video Music Awards in 1984, Madonna's performed "Like A Virgin" wearing a combination bustier/wedding gown, including her trademark "Boy Toy" belt. During the performance, she rolled around on the floor, revealing lacy stockings and garters, and made a number of sexually suggestive moves.

1999

Lil' Kim showed up at the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards with an entire breast exposed and only a tiny piece of fabric over the nipple. Kim's outfit became even more controversial later that night, when she appeared on stage with Mary J. Blige and Diana Ross to present an award, and Ross reached over, cupped her hand under Kim's exposed breast and jiggled it while both laughed heartily. It was later described as Ross getting to second base with Kim on national television"

Black people love the MTV awards, for it is a parade of Black achievement (remember, that level of achievement is reserved only for sports, movies and singing) and the decision by Kanye West to denigrate Swift (a white girl) in favor of Beyonce (a Black woman) is not a cause for great concern.

Remember, Absolute Vodka has already alerted the world that the way to be cool is emulate Kanye West and be like him. Thus, we must all engage in the practice of “No Homo”:

"Kanye West made a statement he'd later describe as braver and more difficult than his attack on the White House. Hip-hop, he told MTV, was supposed to be about "speaking your mind and about breaking down barriers, but everyone in hip-hop discriminates against gay people … I wanna just come on TV and just tell my rappers, tell my friends, 'Yo, stop it.'

But old habits die hard, and last week, West amended his position somewhat on "Run This Town," a new Jay-Z single on which the Chicago rapper is a featured guest. "It's crazy how you can go from being Joe Blow," West begins his rap, "to everybody on your dick—no homo." No homo, to those unfamiliar with the term, is a phrase added to statements in order to rid them of possible homosexual double-entendre.”

Black people have been fighting for decades for Civil Rights, equality, a Black president and a complete of ownership of top sports and entertainment figures that white people worship. They have all of that now.

Kanye West, a man that South Park recently spoofed with his great frustration of interpreting a joke, is ruining all of that hard work:

"Kanye West has told fans he's working on playing down his "crazy ego" after being ridiculed in a new episode of "South Park."

In a blog on his official site, Kanyeuniversecity.com, the 31-year-old rapper wrote: "South Park murdered me last night and it's pretty funny. It hurts my feelings but what can you expect." The episode of the merciless Comedy Central cartoon, entitled "Fishsticks," has a character based on West attempt to tap into his "genius" superpowers to solve a schoolyard joke that only he doesn't find funny.

Famous for his over-the-top rants and temper tantrums, West finally appears to have seen the error of his egotistical ways. "The crazy ego is played out at this point in my life and career," he blogged, adding, "I just wanna be a doper person which starts with me not always telling people how dope I think I am. I need to just get past myself."Whether the hip-hop star, who launched his own Nike shoe, the Air Yeezy, last weekend is intent on turning over a new leaf before the launch of his forthcoming new fragrance and energy drink remains to be seen. But he did seem to be get started by signing off with some uncharacteristic self-deprecating humor.
"I'm sure there's grammatical errors in this," he wrote in his signature upper-case type. "That's how you know it's me!"

Black people have long hoped that Kanye West could be the individual to finally pacify white people and complete the process of Blackinizing America entirely. The Absolute Vodka almost accomplished this, but daring to intimidate Taylor Swift has enraged MARs yet again.

Stuff Black People Don’t Like includes public displays of Kanye West, for even though Black people secretly hope that the Absolute Vodka commercial is how white people view West, the reality is he is opening a lot of white people’s eyes as to how Black people really view white people.

George W. Bush, No Homo, Fishsticks and now Taylor Swift… Black people need to muzzle him completely before a few more white people decide to join the real million man march for reasons that don’t include higher taxes.

To view a video of Kanye West verbally abusing Taylor Swift - as Youtube.com has taken down the video already- click here.