For the first time since a former Upstate youth pastor’s pregnant wife was killed during a home invasion robbery, Davey Blackburn preached to his congregation.
Blackburn preached Wednesday night at Resonate Church in Indianapolis for the first time since his wife, Amanda, was killed last month. The couple had moved there from the Upstate in order to start the church.
"Hope in the midst of hurt," he told the congregation. "Don't you think that I've asked God, 'God I feel like your promises, the dreams you put in my heart for Amanda, I feel like they failed.' You don't think I've asked that? Amanda was one of the most righteous and godly people I know."
And she is being blessed because of that, he said.
"Amanda experienced and is experiencing every single one of those. She was righteous and I believe highly favored," Blackburn said.
But for him, he sometimes says he feels like he is on a trip with no way home.
"My mind goes through that progression about coming home, then I realize I don't have a home because Amanda was my home. It hurts," he said
"Sometimes I feel like somebody's got my head and they're just pushing it under water over and over and over. And I have no breath inside me and I hurt so deeply and I can't breathe underwater and yet, for just a little minute, maybe a couple days, maybe a couple hours I get this breath. I feel this hope.
I also believe Amanda is among the martyrs. Do you know why? Because she and I moved up here to reach people just like the people who killed her."
Blackburn said he has hope, even for the men accused of killing his wife.
"What if these three guys end up meeting Jesus out of this? Could you imagine?" he said.I've held off writing about this story for more than a month, because I can't quite grasp the joy Davey Blackburn feels in hoping the three black killers of his wife and unborn child have a positive meeting with Jesus.
In our world, Davey, your dead wife isn't a martyr -- her black killers will be perceived as such.
Amanda Blackburn's "righteous and godly" nature didn't protect her from one of the most harrowing deaths I've ever read about, with an agent of absolute evil (Satanic?) peering over her body as he "watched her bleed."
There is no hope for people like Davey Blackburn (if he's correct in his theology, perhaps he'll find peace in the afterlife as I pray everyday his wife and unborn child have found), because no matter the depth of one's faith and devout belief in God, there's no definitive proof such a deity exists.
Read of the final moments of the poor Christians who sought refuge in the St. Sofia in 1453 as the Muslims took Constantinople, believing an avenging angel with a fiery sword would grant them salvation from the hordes of Turks rampaging through the city... those who survived spent their remaining years of slaves of their Muslims captors, cursing the angel for its tardiness.
"He leaned further, looked at her face, and watched her bleed.”
That's the final sight your wife saw, Davey, as she viewed one of her three black killers looking down at her body as she bleed out.
Can you imagine?