Monday, June 8, 2009
#33. The movie 300
Black people are afraid of the movie 300. Yes, Black people went to see the 2007 Zack Snyder film, loosely based upon the heroic stand of 300 Spartans at Thermopylae, but Black people left the film with an uneasy feeling.
Breaking one of the cardinal rules of cinema, 300 depicted White people as the protagonists and as the supreme embodiment of heroism. Black people were quick to ascertain the depictions of White people as good and non-white people as bad.
Seeing the heavily muscled Gerard Butler depict King Leonidas, and bravely leading 299 other virile White men against a horde of non-whites, left a distressing taste in Black people's collective mouths.
Black people do not like to think about history too much, because Black people don't exactly have an excitingly stellar history, save for athletic feats in the United States and a crushing inability to maintain civilization anywhere.
Secondly, when they see Xerxes - who in fact was a White guy in reality - depicted as a seven-foot tall androgynous homosexual, they worry that White people will see a similarity between Barack Hussein Obama and the imaginary ruler of Persia from 300.
Anytime in a movie, White people are not portrayed as anything but homophobic, racist, hilly-billy, incestuous red necks, Black people get worried.
In the case of 300 Black people have found the ultimate movie that is included in Stuff Black People Don't Like.
Because in the end, when White people start to see the movie depiction of Xerxes in the guise of the current President Obama, Black people truly fear they will see the movies depiction of White people, in real life.