#52. Lord of the Dance

It is a well-known fact that Black people love to dance. Go to any night club,church, high school sporting event or any place Black people congregate and you will see Black people dancing.

Black people love rhythm, displaying soul and harmony, being hip and showing off their incredible dance moves. Ask anyone who has ever viewed a step-team show on a college campus and seen the incredible discipline and choreographed maneuvers that Black people, and you will get an answer in the affirmative that Black people can dance.

Most people know of the famous Florida A&M marching band, which gives off Clark Kent impression of being a normal band, but is actually the Superman of college bands, easily besting all traditionally white college bands with more booty shaking moves than Tom Cruise displayed in Tropic Thunder.

To Black people, traditional white people marching bands are boring, silly, rigid and well, white. Black people look down on white people who play in marching bands and don't display the same soul that they do; in fact a movie was made called Drumline, that's plot continually boasts about the coolness, freshness and Blackness of the authentic marching band... the Black marching band.

The idea of Black people dancing superiority largely centers around the pernicious myth that white people can't dance. It's not that white people can't dance, it's just that white people look silly trying to emulate Black people dancing.

So as much as Black people love to jive, beat box, step-show, grind and gyrate on the dance floor (especially in rap videos), there is one type of dancing that is included in Stuff Black People Don't Like, and for good reason too: Michael Flatley and his Lord of the Dance.

Unlike step-shows and Black college bands, the latter consisting of stomping, yelling, clapping and sometimes contain canes and the former consisting of, well this, Lord of the Dance is an exhibition of perfection of harmony and choreography. It also consists of white people performing exquisite and complex moves in absolute perfect precision. Yes, white people performing complex dance steps, thus completely dispelling the myth that white people can't dance. In fact, one viewing of Lord of the Dance, and most people walk away believing that the Celtic dancers are the finest dancers in the world.

This is too much for Black people, who have been constantly told that they are the world's best dancers, in actuality the only people who can dance. Black people truly believe that white people can't dance, and write off the Lord of the Dance as an aberration.

Black people look at the white people dancing in Lord of the Dance and wonder if all those people on the stage underwent the same bleaching procedure that Michael Jackson endured.

Black people view the popularity of Lord of the Dance with weary eyes. The mere existence of these Irish folks performing sold out shows around the world to rapturous crowds - overwhelming white crowds - helps to dilute the idea of Black superiority in dancing. Black people do not like to be inferior in anything, and stay clear of Lord of the Dance.

Anytime they see white people dancing in unison and to beautiful Celtic music, the fear of white people losing the idea of Black superiority in dancing is never far behind. This myth must stand, for Black people pride themselves on their dance moves and to be usurped on the dance floor by white people, especially the Irish, would be the ultimate injustice to Black people.