Friday, March 12, 2010

#20. Being Shushed


Being quiet during movies is a struggle for Black people. The desire to communicate with the actors in the film leave Black people propels them to engage in a constant stream of dialogue hoping to change the outcome of the movie.

This is the exclusive reason Black people are loud at the movies: they believe that being vociferous during the film can help the protagonist escape from a harrowing situation.

It is unknown if Black people refrain from talking during Tyler Perry films, because no white person has ever viewed a Tyler Perry film at the theater (akin to the philosophical question “if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?).

However, any individual who takes umbrage with a Black person for sustained outbursts during films is encouraged to read the following tale of woe from California:

LANCASTER -- A man is recovering from being stabbed in the neck with a meat thermometer after asking a woman to silence her cell phone in a movie theater, a sheriff's department official said.

The stabbing occurred Saturday at the Cinemark 22 theater at 2600 West Avenue I in Lancaster, according to Detective Richard Cartmill of the Lancaster sheriff's station.

The theater was packed for a 9 p.m. Saturday screening of the Martin Scorsese horror movie 'Shutter Island' when the victim complained about a woman near him who was using a cell phone during the show.

She and two men with her left the movie theater.Two men returned a few minutes later and stabbed the victim, said sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore.

The victim was hospitalized but is expected to survive.Two other people who attempted to help the victim were also injured in the altercation.

Sheriff's officials describe the suspects as black males.

One man was wearing an orange hat with an orange jacket or jersey.The other man was dressed in a black hooded sweatshirt.”

“Being shushed” during the viewing of a film is a flagrant violation of the code Black people operate under when they venture into the movie theater, for talking during a movie is a time-honored tradition in the Black community.

In Black Run America (BRA), the price of such an impetuous request such as pleading for silence during a movie is met with a defiant look of “did I just get shushed by whitey?” and in some cases, large apertures in your flesh courtesy of a meat thermometer.

Black people are loud. A trip to any high school or college graduation will supply ample evidence for this assessment, as parents are normally instructed to hold all clapping until all graduates names have been called and they have received their diplomas.

However, Black families disregard this plea for celebratory restraint and cheer wildly for their progeny (or any other Black graduate) once their name is called and they walk across the stage soaked in congratulatory praise.

Shushing by the tranquil, subdued white crowd will only result in an increased output of noise from the astonished Black patrons, who aren’t cognizant of rules governing acceptable behavior at graduations, let alone the messages that play before each feature film that admonishes theater-goers to silence cell phones, pagers and refrain from talking during the movie.

In BRA, shushing of Black people is a risky endeavor that is strongly discouraged by any annoyed individual perturbed by the lack of self-control exercised by said Black person.

Shushing can be categorized as asking a Black person to turn down their music on public transportation (ear phones are required, but scarcely utilized by Black people on public transportation); asking a Black person to turn off their cell phone in the theater and discontinue their intense conversation perpetually distracting you from the movie; asking Black people to respect the wishes of the administration and wait until all graduates names have been called until clapping or cheering; or, if you are a Crusading White Pedagogue, asking for your students to pay attention to your lecture, instead of engaging in distracting chatter that inflicts ruination on the few pupils who desire an education.

Stuff Black People Don’t Like includes being shushed, for life under the auspices of BRA guarantees Black people the right to be loud, regardless of the situation or venue. Shushing of Black people, even in a library, is a risky decision and could endanger your life.







21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Back in '95 I was viewing Village of the Damned (how's that for ironic?) when a loud argument broke out between two savage groups of Black people. I yelled out "Shut up!" and was responded to with, "You shut your f***in' mouth white boy!" And then the two groups of savages continued their dispute.

Critical Thinker said...

You know, I've encountered and observed blacks who embody many of the stereotypes on this site. However, in all honesty, I've never been disturbed by blacks in a movie theater. Perhaps I haven't gone to any movie theater in a big city (though I have gone to Jack London Square's theater in Oakland).

I have a friend who once got beaten up by ghetto blacks in a movie theater for rudely telling them to sit down. However, for some reason, I've never actually experienced this.

Anonymous said...

SBPDL,

I have a great home entertainment system. I haven't seen a movie in the theater in 6 years.

This post reminds me that I made the right decision.

The last time I was in a theater was the Magic Johnson Theater in a predominately black neighborhood. No one talked. Ironic?

This happening in Lancaster,Ca. doesn't shook me at all. That whole Lancaster area is full of poor white and black trash.

I'm black and I have to admit the meat thermometer as a weapon is news to me. Mine doesn't leave the kitchen let alone packing it to go out on the town.

-black guy

Anonymous said...

I had not been to a public movie theater in at least ten years or more for exactly the reasons described here. Blacks are rude and ruin the entire experience. Nevertheless, when the whitest movie of all time came out, a friggin musical called "Momma Mia" I relented to my wife's pleadings to take her to the humongo cineplex so she could see it on the big screen. Wouldn't you know. There were only two black people in the audience, two females, and they sat a couple rows in front of me. They were completely confounded by the notion of a "musical" and would burst out laughing and mocking the actors when, during a scene, the entire cast would break into a song and dance routine. Two hundred whites sat there in silence as the two sistas made everyone else regret their decision to go to a theater. Needless to say, if I ever go the movies again I assume it will be because I have a reason to be in Norway or Sweden.

Anonymous said...

anon 2:38
You could go to a movie today in mostly black audience and the same thing would happen. I think those people think that it is not a movie, but by some juju, the actors in the movie will be able to hear them.

Anonymous said...

A meat thermometer? Maybe the negro thought it was a concealable spear.


-Dale Nixon

Anonymous said...

I went and saw "Alice in Wonderland" in 3D last night, and was delighted to see that there were no mud people in the audience. This is an eccentric movie starring all-"white" actors and references to literature and culture. None of the characters had a big ass or said "muddafukka" or had any gangster or street "cred". There were no sex scenes or drug/alcohol abuse or rap/R&B songs featured. Accordingly, I believe that this is a safe film for European-Americans to view in a theatre. No one is going to be "busting a cap" at the screen.

The only way this film could have been better is if it didn't have a demented Jewish director and his Rothschild live-in lover/baby mamma and other Jews and twisted freaks creeping all over the picture. But hey, at least you can watch the thing without getting knifed. We should get the blacks out of the theatres first, as that's a safety concern. Later let's work on getting the hebes out of Hollywood so we don't have to constantly be subjected to their perverted trash or their "award-winning" -- since they give out the awards -- movies about the "Holocaust".

Anonymous said...

I only go to the white theaters. When I use public transit or if blacks are in the audience I use this http://www.phonejammer.com/home.php. They get this dumbfounded look on their faces not understanding why the magic box no longer receives a signal.

Anonymous said...

I've long ago quit going to evening shows at theaters due to rude people getting in the way of having an enjoyable time at the movies, but when you couple that with the black folk and there movie going antics, matinees are usually a safer bet. Well, my long string of movie going enjoyability came to an end last weekend at the 4pm showing of Brooklyn's Finest. You could argue that "Well there are some black actors in the movie, Don Cheadle and Wesley Snipes." so your probably going to get some black folk in the audience. True but probably not as many as at an evening showing. Things started out pretty well. I got settled into my seat and most of people coming in were white but then sure enough a family of blacks came in (middle aged couple and there two boys in the 8-10 years old range) and took their seats. I was kind of wondering why the parents would bring kids of that age to an adult oriented movie but then considered the source. Sure enough before the movie even started the kids were running about like two kids at Chucky Cheese. One came down to the row I was seat in and sat about three seats to the left of me. I thought that was a little odd but then after having the black kid repeat this process three times before the movie even started, I knew this was a mistake right out of the gate. Eventually the kids parents finally reigned the two adventerous offspring in and I never saw them again but by then I could tell others folks were dealing with the other bothersome antics of the black family out to the movies. To be fair, I've had problems with white folks at the movies as well but I had no problem stating my concerns toward them. When it comes to black folks, you could just as easily get shanked in the neck with some sharp instrument. Once agin I will have to revise my movie going tactics to avoid the spook movie going behavior.

Anonymous said...

I feel like a potential victim in movie theaters anymore. If you think about the situation, it can be scary. You are sitting in a darkened room with strangers & totally distracted by watching the screen. Anyone could creep up on you on the floor or behind you. I actually saw a guy (happened to be black) who was sitting a few rows directly ahead of me in a relatively empty theater suddenly go down to the floor and out of sight. Well, then I became totally engrossed in watching my surroundings & waiting to see where he would pop up. I couldn't watch the movie anymore. I waited & watched, but he didn't surface. I left the theater and told the management what I saw. I don't know what they did about it.

Anonymous said...

" I went and saw "Alice in Wonderland" in 3D last night, and was delighted to see that there were no mud people in the audience. This is an eccentric movie starring all-"white" actors and references to literature and culture. None of the characters had a big ass or said "muddafukka" or had any gangster or street "cred". There were no sex scenes or drug/alcohol abuse or rap/R&B songs featured. Accordingly, I believe that this is a safe film for European-Americans to view in a theatre. No one is going to be "busting a cap" at the screen.

The only way this film could have been better is if it didn't have a demented Jewish director and his Rothschild live-in lover/baby mamma and other Jews and twisted freaks creeping all over the picture. But hey, at least you can watch the thing without getting knifed. We should get the blacks out of the theatres first, as that's a safety concern. Later let's work on getting the hebes out of Hollywood so we don't have to constantly be subjected to their perverted trash or their "award-winning" -- since they give out the awards -- movies about the "Holocaust"."

I'm really glad you found a movie that is "safe" for white Americans Aren't most Jewish people white? When you're white and hate other white folks, you are really insane.

This "mud person" has a 58" Plasma TV so you don't have to worry about seeing me in the theater at all. Also since I 'm not some stoned teenager I think I'll pass on Alice in wonderland

-Black guy

Phalluster said...

my buddy has gotten a refund, in the form of free ticket vouchers, for complaining about nig nog noise. he sat through the whole movie, but in the end, felt so motivated as to stick around waiting for the theater manager.

this tactic won't work everywhere, but you'll find many sympathetic voices for now.

of course, since segregating theaters is a raciss cause celebre, sympathetic white owners will only be able to dole out eternal free tickets to their disgruntled white majority until they decide to sell their ownership share, under fire from diminishing margins. a PC entity will assume control, and such refunds will cease. as white attendance correspondingly decreases, Black Barbie pricing will follow, encouraging the welcome blacks to come visit more often. earnest white patrons will be penalized for their whiteness. this is inevitable futurist economics.

my favorite germane personal story: during 'The Dark Knight' show in brooklyn heights, ny, a black child was baffled by the Rachel Dawes character's love triangle. "WHY SHE DO THAT???" "WHO HER MAN IS???" there were many other tribal noises during that show, but those two phrases in particular stuck with me and my accompaniment. we still use them to this day as inside jokes to mock blacks.

Anonymous said...

Anon @8:01:
Which of the jamming devices do you use or would recommend? Thanks.

The Friendly Grizzly said...

black guy said: "I'm really glad you found a movie that is "safe" for white Americans Aren't most Jewish people white? When you're white and hate other white folks, you are really insane.

This "mud person" has a 58" Plasma TV so you don't have to worry about seeing me in the theater at all."

I'm one of those awful nasty Jews. No, black guy. In the eyes of many, we Jews are not white, although I will be glad to face off with Mr Anonymous with DNA swabs at 20 paces any day of the week to judge whiteness.

I'm a relatively poor man, having only a 42" flat screen, a 15 year old surround sound receiver, and a non-blue-ray player. But it is sufficient for my needs, as it allows me to avoid loutish behavior from all races.

- the wise ol' JewBear.

The Friendly Grizzly said...

Oh, and one more thing: the meat thermometer is not classed as a weapon, at least not yet. So, our fine example of society carries it as a weapon that will pass muster if he is stopped and frisked. One may presume that when one has a rap sheet that goes from here to the corner of Century and Western, one learns to adapt.

- the wise ol' JewBear

Anonymous said...

A black guy defending Jews?
That's entertainment!

Anonymous said...

Sheeit I would have poked that cracka too. No white cave bitch is going to tell me what to do. Maybe if he said please he would have left with just a simple ass whipping from me.

Jamal James Jr

Anonymous said...

the wise ol JewBear

You certainly are wise. I love how non blacks chastise blacks about everything they do. Out here in Treasure coast Florida there has been no time that I wasnt annoyed or irriated by non blacks and their behavior while going to a theatre. Whether its the loud talking, food throwing, running around making noise, talking on their cellphone or simply staring at me throughout the entire movie scene. I dont like it when people attempt to scold blacks over the internet trying to act bad over the internet.

I think the story anon had at March 13, 2010 5:51 AM was so hiliarious.

Anonymous said...

Shlomo the Wise,

Interesting how you have such a fascination with DNA. If a White was to take you up on your offer, would we send these swabs to be tested at www.familytreedna.com?

Would the CEO, Bennett Greenspan call us and tell us we are both jews? Who decided that these 'DNA markers' are for what race? Surely, they exhumed the body of Aaron himself to find the 'control marker'. Right? Hrrmmm...

Dave

Anonymous said...

Black guy i think this lady(?) has you beat..

http://www.jimbyrd.com/welfare-aint-what-it-used-to-be

Anonymous said...

african-americans are not always loud so stop it there r some spanish ppl that talk loud and white and all the other races so just shut up