Wednesday, March 17, 2010

#28. St. Patrick's Day


Murphy: Yeah, it's St. Patty's Day, everyone's Irish tonight. Why don't you just pull up a stool and have a drink with us?

So says one of the brothers from The Boondock Saints, a cult favorite that presupposes vigilantes would be greeted with fanfare and adulation in crime-ridden America.

Nothing is more fear inducing to Black people than a congregation of white people gathered in Bacchanalian revelry, partaking in a copious amount of inebriants and indulging in alcoholic induced straight talk.

And no day invites more white people to indulge their inhibitions than St. Patrick’s Day, a celebration universally recognized for its incomparable debauchery.

White people gather to celebrate the exploits of some long dead Catholic saint, who is of little consequence save for the annual festivities of the drink in his long dead honor. Though it is still a holy day of celebration, St. Patty’s Day is a theological only in the sense that being worshipped is booze, not some Saint.

What exactly is St. Patrick’s Day, and whose name graces this date reserved for insane amounts of alcohol consumption? :

Saint Patrick's Day (Irish: Lá Fhéile Pádraig) is a yearly holiday celebrated on 17 March. It is named after Saint Patrick (circa AD 387–461), the most commonly recognized of the patron saints of Ireland. It began as a purely Catholic holiday and became an official feast day in the early 1600s. However, it has gradually become more of a secular celebration of Ireland's culture.

It is a public holiday on the island of Ireland (both Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland) and widely celebrated by the Irish diaspora in places such as Great Britain, Canada, the United States, Argentina, Australia, New Zealand, and Montserrat.

A holiday in honor of a dead white male isn’t worthy of admiration or celebration. Blasphemy, as even in the waning days of Pre-Obama America every effort to curtail any implicit celebration of whiteness was near complete with the swift removal of Washington’s Day with the generic replacement of President’s Day.

Only Martin Luther King (a saint in every sense of the word to Black Run America) is worthy of celebration, however the types of drunken merriment in his honor might include a Compton Cookout or a Ghetto Party, unsavory propositions for the ruling elite.

St. Patrick’s Day is thus a cause for great alarm for Black people; the prospect of large groups of white people associating in pub crawls in formerly derelict neighborhoods where gentrification has decreased the acreage of what constitutes “the hood” posing unbelievable danger to Black political power.

Though they may be Disingenuous White Liberals, the scarcity of Token Blacks in the groups of green-clad white revelers is cause for deep dismay among Black people. Is it because Black people instinctively find anything with the color green (whether it is greenbacks for the future or for making it rain) nauseating and offensive?

No. Black people find St. Patrick’s Day a parade of whiteness, a date that greatly perturbs them for the joy white people derive out of an authentic celebration of cultural (or dare we mention it?), racial pride in being Irish.

Name another day that white people can enjoy their roots and celebrate them with parades, beer, shots and pinches (for those who dare defy the color-code of the holiday)? You can’t, and Black people are generally aware of this:

A green-clad man said: “Happy Saint Patrick’s Day” to which the brother responded “Yeah, you know, just trying to not get beat up.”

It’s kind of like that for black people on St. Patrick’s Day.

364 days of the year, I’ve got no problem with the Irish. But I don’t mess around and leave my house on St. Patrick’s Day. I’m too old, I’m too black, and no longer willing to risk bar brawls on a holiday. Don’t worry about me, I’ve still got Cinqo de Mayo and Purim and a host of other holidays that I can use to hide my alcoholism.

I don’t want to rain on anybody’s good time. If you love St. Patrick’s Day, keep right on loving it. No worries. Just don’t expect many of your black friends to join in the fun. As a “friend” told me on SPD-1996: “Everybody’s Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. Except you, Elie, ’cause you’re black.”

Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day would be the finest admission of a desire to Act White, forcing Black people to boycott the holiday for fear of expulsion or punishment.

Worse, St. Patrick’s Day is a time to enjoy the Lord of the Dance, an Irish inspired dancing routine that always out-steps the best choreographed routine from a Black fraternity or sorority.

More importantly, Black people have the misfortune of constantly searching for the elusive pot of gold that has yet to be located, despite the well-intentioned efforts of Black would-be alchemists and Leprechaun hunters.

The television show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia pointedly illustrates the absurdity of the day and the fear Black people have in anything green or visually identifiable as Irish. A bar consultant is helping the owners of Paddy’s Irish Pub generate a more diverse clientele, and he recommends removing everything Irish:

Terrell: Nothing scares gays and black folks like Irish crap.

To the point and succinct, so we include St. Patrick’s Day in Stuff Black People Don’t Like, for the audacity of white people to celebrate their heritage is a cardinal sin only reserved for every other ethnic group in America, save white people.

Pride in ones heritage is a healthy trait in all racial communities save white people, where this odd declaration of love for ones people is diagnosed as a gross pathology on par with cancer.

Plus, Boston is viewed as a city where Irish life flourishes, and the hatred of forced busing by whites there still lingers in Black minds.

St. Patrick’s Day offers the surreptitious celebration of ethnic pride for white people, albeit disguised as a mere festival of booze.

Black people pass on that “everyone’s Irish on St. Patty’s Day” line from white people, because they know the truth. Now, you do to.

And you thought white people loved Larry Bird because he was just good at basketball.







28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would think that blacks might enjoy St. Patrick's day more. Isn't green their favorite color? That whole cash money from the gov-ment thing.

Free money from the government is green. " I jus wanna know where dah gold at"! Well, the gold be in uncle sam's hands my brotha. And now with the Kenyan messiah in the white house. You best be believing, whitey is gonna cough up some mo green, sho nuff is.

CWN

Anonymous said...

St. Patrick's day is nothing more than an excuse to drink and party. There is nothing wrong with that, but lets be honest and cut the crap about white pride.

I've been to bars in predominately black communities and St. Patrick's day was recognized. It's not a big deal. It's all in good fun. No one was in white face by the way. i didn't realize you white folks took it this seriously. Go figure.

As far as the phrase “everyone’s Irish on St. Patty’s Day” I will pass on that on ,because looking around at family functions. There are no Irish people in sight.

-Black guy

Anonymous said...

Why are you on this website? You're a f****** idiot and act like people like you. It's a white holiday. You got that pathetic black history month and MLK day. Oh, and my ancestors did come from Ireland and I got no quams about moving back, especially because of the direction this country is going.

Jean said...

St. Patrick's Day is much, much, much more "than an excuse to drink and party". St. Patrick's Day is a day when I honor my ancestors. At least one and a half million Irish people died in an orchestrated famine in the 1840's in Ireland. There were also many Irish people who were sent as slaves (yes....slaves...read Michael Hoffman's "They Were White and They Were Slaves) to the West Indies and the Americas. In spite of all of this, the Irish went on to do great things all over the world.

St. Patrick's Day is also my birthday and of that I am extremely proud. Exactly ten years ago I spent my birthday in Galway, Ireland and a fantastic birthday it was. I had already been to Ireland twice and went back at least 4 times after that. I just wish I were there now in that land of Saints and Scholars. I love the country and I love the people. I felt so much more at home there than I ever have here.

Anonymous said...

All Irish...Please leave Walmart.

Anonymous said...

Jean,

I'm sure the nearest airport won't be difficult to find thanks to Google maps.

Have a nice flight!

-Black guy

Anonymous said...

"Why are you on this website? You're a f****** idiot and act like people like you. It's a white holiday. You got that pathetic black history month and MLK day. Oh, and my ancestors did come from Ireland and I got no qualms about moving back, especially because of the direction this country is going."

I'm on this website because it is hilarious.Why else would I be here? Insightful information?

I'm sorry you get you panties in a bunch about this crap , but every holiday is an excuse to drink, shop, BBQ, or just have a day off from work. Even the "pathetic" MLK day. It seems that its you whites that seem to take that day with such anger and contempt. Blacks don't really give a damn.

Black history month is not a holiday, but the 28 days of crying by whites about the corporate crap is quite entertaining.

I believe British Airways flies to Ireland. I'm sure there are quite a few people that would be willing to give you a ride.

-Black guy

Anonymous said...

Anybody dare try to pinch a brother or even sister not wearing green?

Anonymous said...

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?





One less drunk.

Anonymous said...

To all those Irishmen out there reading this: I SALUTE YOU!

No, I'm not Irish, or Celtic even; I'm just a mere German.

Dave

Anonymous said...

I believe the best thing for, not only the Irish, but the rest of us Americans of European heritage return to their prospective ancestral lands and rebuild and improve what is now being destroyed by non-Europeans and let the U.S. fall into oblivion.

Jean said...

Black guy,

As far as I know (but then I haven't been back to Ireland since 2002) British Airways doesn't fly to Ireland. I've flown British Airways to Heathrow and then Aer Lingus to Dublin...then on to Shannon Airport. The last time I went we flew from San Francisco to LA then Aer Lingus straight to Ireland. Believe me, if my situation were different, I'd be on the next plane to Ireland in a heartbeat. Of course it's now being ruined too with lots of immigration of people who don't belong there and never will.

Anonymous said...

"I believe the best thing for, not only the Irish, but the rest of us Americans of European heritage return to their prospective ancestral lands and rebuild and improve what is now being destroyed by non-Europeans and let the U.S. fall into oblivion."

Please do it. I see a reality show in the making.

-Black guy

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 5:21 AM

You suggest that we run? That must be a trait of our kind unbeknown to me thus far. Clearly, you're not mad enough yet.

Dave

Anonymous said...

Jean,

Ireland is relatively well, compared to countries like England and France.Germany aswell, although it's a little bit less infested with 3rd worlders.I think the last place to go would be Eastern Europe,because people there have not swallowed the BS of Multi Culturalism.Trust me i know western Europe,i live in Germany,and not one German i met dared to say that he is proud to be german.I pitty you westerners ,I really do.Those of you who have not lost courage are welcome to Eastern Europe.We will need many white soldiers in the future ,if things go on like that.

Anonymous said...

Black Guy,

trust me once whites are gone from America ,there will be no reality show ,for within five years this country will look like Africa or Mexico.And you should pray that it will not be the Mexicans in power,because they are a little bit less politically correct towards your kind,Mayate.

Anonymous said...

"trust me once whites are gone from America ,there will be no reality show ,for within five years this country will look like Africa or Mexico.And you should pray that it will not be the Mexicans in power,because they are a little bit less politically correct towards your kind,Mayate."

The reality is ,if you're not black you are white or at least aspire to be. So, happy trails!

-Black guy

charlie sierra said...

No, "Black" guy, the reality is if you are Black, your greatest regret is not being born another race. Hence all the anti-White hatred out of jealousy.

oyr future leaders said...

crazy, can anyone say? if you're white black spanish irish or whatever, it doesn't matter. people like what they are comfortable at. you're all acting like kids. i'm sooooo glad i'm from a younger, less ignorant generation than u guys. hopefully yall die soon and the youth of today will be in power!!1

Stuff Black People Don't Like said...

Oyr future leaders,

"crazy, can anyone say? if you're white black spanish irish or whatever, it doesn't matter. people like what they are comfortable at. you're all acting like kids. i'm sooooo glad i'm from a younger, less ignorant generation than u guys. hopefully yall die soon and the youth of today will be in power!!1"

Oh, my friendly SWPL liberal, it does matter. Race is all that matters, even if white people deny it to their death.

Pay close attention to South Africa and Zimbabwe right now. Go apply for the job with the Federal Government. If you are any race save white, you'll have a great chance of getting that job.

You being from a younger, less ignorant generation is a pathetic cop out. I'm probably just as young as you are, my friend and the idea of a racial blind utopia as dreamed by Stuff White People Like liberals runs counter to the reality.

The youth of today in power? Yes, youth who shy away from no perversion and rejection of traditionalism in a vain attempt to remake the United States a nationwide San Francisco.

Youth who helped elect Mein Obama and inadvertently created a backlash to Black Run America, setting the stage for perhaps the most intense anti-government movement since 1860.

I travel all over the country. Most people could give two shi*ts about progressive politics, hope and change. They want to live their lives, free and simple.

They don't really believe the nonsense of a post-racial world, nor do they bother thinking about what it might look like.

Obama has shown that most liberals are truly socialists and communists, as the 1980s miniseries "Amerika" beautifully illustrated. The youth of today would willingly be commissars for China, if they decided to invade.

That's why the new "Red Dawn" coming out soon is such a asinine remake. Liberals would willingly join such an invasion and gladly exterminate right-wingers, Tea Party patrons, Civil War re-enacters, NASCAR fans and those who find Howard Zinn intolerable.

Understand that not everyone in the "youth of today" views Obama through the same lenses of your Disingenuous White Liberal glasses.

Some of us just laugh at the world in its current state of sustained apathy to truth.

It is the youth of today who inherit the mess of that are forefathers failed to properly deal with and it is the youth of today who must discard a century of liberal, progressive platitudes and bring sanity to those still capable of free thinking.

Go back to SWPL.com until you are prepared to think for yourself you public educated tool.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you that for the most part, St Pádraig's day has been prostituted into rediculousness by crazy white people, most of whom aren't Irish OR Catholic. But speaking as an Irish American Catholic, I can tel you that honoring "some dead white guy" IS a big deal. He brought the Faith to our people.

So thanks for you input, but I thing I will spend March 17th listening to reels on the uileann pipes, yelling at the Brits and the Northern Ireland loyalists, going to mass, and drinking George Killian's Irish Red, singing Tiochfaídh ár lá and Óró se do Bhaitha Bhaile.

Slán leat, agus Érin go brach!

Anne

Anonymous said...

C'mon...we *are* all Irish on SPD...hasn't anyone ever heard of the "Black Irish?"

[Note to the humor impaired: That was a joke.]

J said...

Its clear you have a bias against blacks, although I have not read your entire blog from this post I can tell at least. For one you should do a flickr search on St. Patrick's Day Parade, What is crazy is you will find Black people attending the Parade and Part of the Parade dressed in St. Patricks say attire.

My question to the owner of this blog, Do you know any black people to justify your claims that blacks hate the Irish and that blacks hate St. Patty's Day?

Some of you point out the Irish were once slaves and suffered a massacure by their Brothers in the English. Can you guys tell me why the Irish choose to unite with the English who enslaved them and created the Potatoe Famine, Unite and Support the enslavement of Blacks as well as discrimination against Blacks.

Sure they were Irish that have stood up for Blacks, For instance a Southern Irish man was killed for Teaching Black Children prior to the Emancipation by the name Patrick O-Bannon I believe(can't remember exactly I took this history class two yrs ago). Also an Irishman stood up for black in the "black Wallstreet riot", Plus Many Irish people that have not been able to recieve the honor they deserve. My question is this, Why further divide Irish and Black people with a post like this. Maybe in Boston(Although I have never been I have heard about Irish/Black racism from both sides) the black might hate St. Patty's day, but overall most black either don't care(which is not disrespectful at all considering most Whites don't care about Black Holidays like Juneteenth and MLK day) or they celebrate it as seen in the St. Pattys day pics on Flickr.

Do you even realize How many blacks both young and old feel that Kennedy and his family was the Few white Presidents they can support and many blacks respect the Kennedys.

I don't understand?

Anonymous said...

ARTICLE WRITER!!!

To any and all Patricks, calling us Patty is sacrilegious. It is Paddy and no Patrick alive or dead appreciates being called Patty. So while your article is almost 100% fact, I only care to point out the fact that writing St Pattys Day can only be taken one way by a REAL Irishman, an insult. So please, in the future either spell out the full name or call it St Paddy's Day - thank you.

John Street said...

MLK day is a holiday to me I get paid to be home I work for the State. It means nothing to me otherwise. I am proud to be white if you want someone to feel sorry for your misfortune in life there's plenty of liberals.

Anonymous said...

F***** you black guy #whiteandproud

Anonymous said...

I celebrate St. Patrick's Day AND Martin Luther King Day...I don't care what the race of the person...and I have no problem with Black History Month except that there should be equal "billing" for ALL races because our children need to learn about ALL cultures...its important to know where we ALL came from because we all live on the same planet, regardless of what race or another think or feel...and btw, I'm a white woman and damn proud of it and there's no harm in ANYONE being proud of where their ancestors came from because there's good and bad in ALL cultures

Anonymous said...

Q: What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

A: On St. Patrick's Day, everyone wants to be Irish.