Thursday, April 1, 2010

Hank Johnson: The Ultimate April Fools Day Joke, right?

Congressman Hank Johnson, who represents Georgia's Fourth Congressional District and serves in the House leadership as Regional Whip for the Southeast, issued the following statement upon passage in the U.S. House of Representatives of legislation reforming the nation's health care and insurance system:

“Years from now, we will wonder what all the fuss was about,” said Johnson.

Like the irreplaceable Corrine Brown of the 3rd Congressional District from Florida, Black people have real leadership in Johnson.

Black people don't like to pay for health care, and Congressman Hank Johnson helped eradicate that impediment to Black happiness.

Yet, he provided perhaps the most inadvertently, unintentional hilarious moment that will be difficult to ever (we mean EVER) replicate:

THE HONORABLE HENRY C. "HANK" JOHNSON JR, D-GA: This is a, ah, island that, at its bridest [sic] level, is what? 12 miles from shore to shore? And at its smallest level, ah, ah, oh, smallest, ah, aaahhhhh, location it's, ah, 7 miles, ah, ah, between one shore and the other. Is zat correct?

ADMIRAL ROBERT WILLARD, USN: I don't have the exact, ah, dimensions, but, ah, to your point, sir, I think Guam is a small island.

JOHNSON JR, D-GA: Very small island, and about 24 miles, if I recall, long. So twenty, twenty-fo' miles long, about 7 miles wide at the least widest [sic], ah, place on the island, and about twinny, about twelf' miles wide, ah, ah, on the widest part of da island. And, ahm, I don' know how many square miles that that is - do you happen to know?

WILLARD, USN: I don't have that, ah, figure with me, sir; I can certainly supply it to you if you'd like.

JOHNSON JR, D-GA: Yeah. Mah, mah fee-yuh is dat, ah, da whole island will, ah, become so overly populated dat it will tip ovah', an', ah, an' capsize.

WILLARD, USN: Ah, we don't anticipate that; the ah, the ah, Guam population I think currently about 175,000, and again with 8,000 Marines and their families it's an addition of about 25,000, ah, more, ah, into the population.

JOHNSON JR, D-GA: And, ah, and also, ah, things like the, ah, environment, ah, the sessitive [sic] areas of, ah, the environment - coral reefs and those kinds of things - and I know dat, you know, lots of people don't like to think about that, but, you know, when you think about global warming either [sic], and, ahhmmmm, now we do have to think about it, and so, ah, I'm concerned from an environmental standpoint, whether or not Guam is the, da', da' best place to do dis relocation, but it's axually [sic] the only place, is that correct?

WILLARD, USN: Ah, this is the best place, this is the farthest west U.S. territory that we own, and, ah, you know, I, this is part of our nation. Ah, and in re-addressing the forward presence and posture importance, ah, to Pacific Command, ah, Guam is, ah, vital to this decision.
Yes, an elected member of Congress alluded to his great fear that the island of Guam would capsize like a sinking ship and eventual rest safely at the bottom at the sea, all due to a troop buildup.

An actual member of Congress thought that an island could capsize due to an influx of people (of course, if everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time, the earth would spin of its axis) and it wasn't an April Fools Day joke.

He was being serious. Once labeled by Congressional Quarterly as a member of Congress "on their way" Johnson wasn't a fan of Joe Wilson's outburst against Mein Obama for the "you lie" comment.

SBPDL has only two words for the fear he has undoubtedly created among all citizens of small islands across the planet, as he has triggered a great pandemic among island-dwellers that their island could capsize at any moment: YOU LIE!!!

For years from now, the island of Guam will still be inhabited, no matter the population. And Johnson will still wonder what all the fuss is about.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

That is one of the most unfuckingbelievable things that I've ever seen. The Admiral should have stood up and walked out when the moron indicated his real concerns that an island might actually capsize and sink.

XD 45

Porter said...

I saw that clip earlier today and had the best laugh I've had in a while. I wonder if Congressman Johnson walks around various coastlines with his knees bent and feet apart as if riding a surfboard. After all, if he didn't balance properly, what's to stop North America from capsizing?

Truly the most depressing part though was the ridiculous deference paid to this blithering imbecile. "We don't anticipate that?" Well no admiral, I would think you wouldn't anticipate an island to capsize.

Yet it's just another cut we must endure under BRA: the requirement that no matter how obscenely stupid a black is, we must nod our head gravely and say "that's a great question D'Shousquenese."

Annie Oakley said...

That entire monologue was pathetic. It reminded me of the Dave Chapelle skit where he's a crack addict with those exaggerated white lips.

I don't know if I could have shown the restraint that that general did. I might have had to jump over a couple of rows of chair and bitchslapped that idiot. And we're supposed to respect this office.

How did this forest urchin ever get into political office? God help us all.

Lee Michel said...

And they accused George Bush of being the dumbest person ever to live in DC.

Move over George, the village has a new idiot and his name is Hank.

Not so funny when it's one of the libs own is it? Don't hear them laughing now

Anonymous said...

What do you expect? These blacks are in office because of PC. They are not qualified, and are not very smart.

They say Obama is so intelligent. Well if he is, remember that he is half white.

Blacks cannot govern, they never could, never will be able to. It is not in them.

Most blacks have a hard enough time speaking english.


B Herder said...

Actually, Admiral Willard showed great professional restraint. Anyone else would have had their jaw hit the floor and then ask Johnson "Are you really THAT fucking STUPID??"
These are the kind of men we need in charge, whether facing great adversity or mind-numbing idiocy..

Anonymous said...

Well, Hong Kong is about twice as big as Guam in size with about 35 times or more population size. That place hasn't tipped over in the ocean yet.
But then again, I don't think islands are floating discs in water so that thought peculiar thought wouldn't have occurred to me until after hearing this congressman's words.

Anonymous said...

No thoughts from desiree on this???? interesting!

You know we could send "precious" to Guam to test the theory of a capsizing island!

Anonymous said...

Could be worse, he replaced Cynthia McKinney. He may have mental lapses, but she was a nutter from the get go.
Everyone knows that Guam rests upon the back of a Giant Sea Turtle(I think his name is Gamera) :)

Stuff Black People Don't Like said...

If you haven't read the Corrine Brown entry here, I recommend it highly to complement the Hank Johnson.

What is so pathetic is DeKalb County is purportedly home to citizens of the ultimate Black Mecca, where the Black elite have congregated.

Don't worry, like the reality of Clayton County, the reality of Dekalb County is soon to be immortalized here at SBPDL.

Fitting that the Black elite would thus send an intellectual giant like Hank Johnson to Washington where he can represent their interests and ask such pertinent questions as to the potential capsizing of an entire island.

The power of Black Run America (BRA) was never more obvious than in this video.

A sane nation would have removed this feckless, fatuous fumbler long ago from any office of power.

We are not sane.

Anonymous said...

hey, listen I'm white and 52. I grew up in rural GA. My grandparents were cotton pickers. I love this site because it exposes the falicies in the gov and the liberal media. As an educator i see this junk all the time in scholarships. BUT, i also some of it has merit and while i am not affirmative action i do believe we owe our black brothers and sisters who behave a first shot as opposed to a white... sorry... I just do... but not a lousy thug/wannabe...

Anonymous said...

Sorry, white and 52 but I completely disagree with you about giving them a first shot as you put it. It should be based on merit if it's not done on a privately owned business/system and to citizenry first, and then by natural born to naturalized. If it were up to me, it'd be white first before any foreign born type then those of native american blood.

Anonymous said...

To"hey, listen I'm white and 52" are you serious? They deserve a first shot!? And your a teacher?! I think that the Detroit public school system is lookin for a new president.You sir, are a jerkoff.