Thursday, December 1, 2011

#48. Unprepared Kool-Aid

Do we need an explanation?
It's a well-known fact that Black people don't pass on seconds. The least healthy city in America is Detroit, that municipality that Black people everywhere cannot abandon (unless they wish to abandon Black America). Black women, all Black women according to The Atlantic, are expected to be classified as  morbidly obese if their poor dietary trends continue.

With cities where Black people live being food deserts, it's obvious they will continue unabated (primarily because, unlike Asian and Hispanic immigrants, indigenous Black people lack the entrepreneurial drive, sense of community, credit score, or trustworthiness to open, staff, and maintain an urban grocery store). After all, EBT cards rarely work at farmer's markets. But when they do, it's double the pleasure!

But what beverage is it Black people wash their third, fourth, fifth, and six meals down with?

Water? Oh no!

Beer? Oh no!

Sunny D? Oh no!

Kool-Aid? Oh yeah!

Black people enjoy Kool-Aid more than the citizens of Jonestown ever did, and consider this beverage (regardless of the flavor) to be the liquid height of any culinary feast. According to market research, Black people's love for Kool-Aid is only rivaled by that of our diminutive friends from south of the border:
Almost 20 percent of Kool-Aid drinkers are Hispanic, while slightly more than 20 percent are African-American, according to the brand. Sales are split about evenly between powdered mixes and ready-to-drink versions. 

Hispanic adults are second only to African-Americans in consumption of fruit drinks, with 40 percent drinking powdered drinks (compared with 46 percent of blacks and 32 percent of whites) and 45 percent drinking prepared versions (compared with 46 percent of blacks and 27 percent of whites), according to Mintel, a market research firm.
This minority love of Kool-Aid is contributing greatly to the disproportionate rates of obesity found in each racial group, especially Black people. But who cares when you have the advantage of free health care to fall back upon! Get me another glass of Kool-Aid, please Ms. Washington?:
Louisville Metro Police arrested a man Monday morning after they said he attacked his mother over a glass of Kool-Aid.


According to arrest records, 35-year-old Lequan Washington became angry when his mother told him to go get his own glass of Kool-Aid that she had already prepared.

Police said Washington punched and stomped on his mother then left the home, then came back later and kicked a glass screen window out.


According to police, Washington said his mother was upset that he asked for a glass of Kool-Aid and fired a shot from a gun at him, but missed.Police said they did not find any evidence to support Washington's claim, but did find damaged property that the victim reported.Washington was charged with fourth-degree assault.
Oh no! Oh Yeah. Its not like Lequan (another reminder that Black people lead the race in the unfortunate first name category) asked his mother for permission to go to the Orange County State Fair to procure Deep Fried Kool-Aid.


Why do Black people like Kool-Aid so much? Perhaps it's simply because the Kool-Aid packets are inexpensive (or incredibly easy to conceal in pockets or purses) and water is free.

Anyways, Kool-Aid and Black people's love for it is one of those foundational stereotypes for comedians in need of easy joke material that an audience - any audience - will instantly understand and find humorous. Lequan Washington's consternation and acrimonious reaction to his mother's refusal to part with the glass of Kool-Aid she had so tirelessly prepared is a reminder that Stuff Black People Don't Like includes unprepared Kool-Aid, because this is the one beverage that a "coloreds only" sign is superfluous.

Judging by market studies, Kool-Aid is the choice of the Mein Obama Generation. Judging by Lequan Washington's reaction, he'd have stepped over a dying body to procure a glass of Kool-Aid, even if it was his mother's. Now we understand the impetus behind all those Black people trying to garner dinner by walking over a dying body in Tulsa for Chicken Hut's renowned delicacy -- chicken. Oh no?

Oh yeah.

44 comments:

Jake Lopez said...

Now Paul,

From my own personal observations, Hispaics do like Fruit Drinks, but usually prepared ones.

Like Tampico or some other company that exclusively caters to Hispanics.

I also never knew Hispanics were that fond of Kool-Aid.

Anonymous said...

"Why do Black people like Kool-Aid so much?"

Mainly, because you can add unlimited quantities of sugar.

Blacks love sugar.

Anonymous said...

My challenge to the black readers of this blog: Find me stories of white middle school students that do this to eachother.

http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/dpp/news/local/girl-pummeled-inside-detroit-school-bathroom-20111130-ms

Anonymous said...

Trust me, I have thought long and hard about the numerous anti-social eccentricities of the African-antiAmerican. The only sentence that gives me any satiation in light of these observations is this:

Blacks are just really, really fucking weird.

mr_evergreen said...

Beer is worse for you than kool-aid. At least you don't get drunk off of kool-aid.

Anonymous said...

Black people enjoy Kool-Aid more than the citizens of Jonestown ever did,

Uh....!

Anonymous said...

Having worked closely with many blacks in New Orleans, I have observed that they routinely add 2 or 3 times the amount of sugar called for on the packet.
I once made the mistake of accepting a glass of said concontion and I swear I could hear my teeth screaming!

Thrasymachus said...

Crossing my fingers that Blogger doesn't EAT MY COMMENT LIKE IT DOES EVERY OTHER TIME-

There is a scene in the movie "House Party" where a little black kid is making Kool Aid, pouring sugar in- pouring, and pouring, and pouring- it's hilarious but I can't find it on YouTube.

Anonymous said...

Ret'd LAPD here. Many times in my travels through various housing projects, I would come across a "candy lady" who would sell snacks from their apartment. One delicacy was a pickle soaked in grape kool aid. I thought it was nasty (never tried it) but man were they snapped up like crazy.

DW said...

Paul, it's not "Kool-aid", it's RED DRANK. And if that's not available, they'll take orange drank or purple drank, any colored (heh) drink works.

Anonymous said...

Beer is worse for you than kool-aid. At least you don't get drunk off of kool-aid.

Mr. Ever-The-Nigger:

Would you please be so kind as to look up the word "inane"?

Gawd, what a bore you are.

SanDiegoGuy

Ben N Indiana said...

I once heard a twisted-thinking suggestion that Kool-Aid be tainted with an ethnic-centric virus that causes infertility and impotence in individuals who are genetically negroid.

Perish the thought.

First, no such virus exist.

Second, a more practical suggestion was offered: Pay blacks with IQs under 100 to be sterilized voluntarily.

Anonymous said...

"Beer is worse for you than kool-aid. At least you don't get drunk off of kool-aid."

In addition to kool-aid, negroes drink a lot of beer, and especially malt liquor.

Evergreen, once again your intellectual bankruptcy shines through.

Baldowl said...

Yeah, Evergreen. Usually you can at least dazzle us with some meaningless statistics, but your latest comment has nothing to do with anything.

mr_evergreen said...

Mr. Ever-The-Nigger:

Would you please be so kind as to look up the word "inane"?

Gawd, what a bore you are.

SanDiegoGuy

I just did look up inane. Inane does not describe me. I'm not the one insulting people and calling them racial slurs.

mr_evergreen said...

"My challenge to the black readers of this blog: Find me stories of white middle school students that do this to eachother.

http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/dpp/news/local/girl-pummeled-inside-detroit-school-bathroom-20111130-ms"

Maybe not middle schoolers, but there are high schools where White students have gone on shooting rampages. Some have made bombs.

I can also start with my own personal experiences as a Black student in middle school. The vast majority of the students who bullied me were White.

I was in a cast on on crutches for a time. Two White students kicked the crutches from underneath me, sending me falling to the ground. Me AND my father both went to the principal to turn those miscreants in. They got off with a slap on the wrist because no other students would say anything.

Another thing that happened to me is some kid(he was also White) threw rocks at me during gym class(we were on the football field and it's hard to supervise kids). This was the same kid who stole my watch and threw it in a toilet full of urine. Those are just some of my experiences in middle school. Call it iaane or worthless all you want, but I have personal experience, things that haven't ended up in the news.

jetsgiants said...

had a diner in nyc and one day a black guy walks in and order lite and sweet coffee , i had 2 put in 17 domino sugar packets in the 10 0z cup for him 2 b satisfied believe it or not

Ivan .M said...

I thought beer was basically bread in a can. Granted, I do not consider it an effective form of hydration.

You know, it never occured to me to ask, but what do White people typically drink with their dinners? Does it vary with region?

My family is Hispanic, and when I'm not washing down my dinner with Kool-Aid, it's iced tea or lemonade.

Playing Roots Backwards said...

I have a nephew who works at the Jimmy Autry State Prison in Pelham, GA.

He told me a story several years ago about a cannibal who nearly stabbed another cannibal to death with a shank made from a sewing machine part for giving a bag of Kool-Aid to his sissy in an attempt to lure its heart away.

He explained that Kool-Aid is a powerful Negro currency in GA prisons. Whites prefer to deal in coffee or Bugler rolling tobacco, but Kool-Aid is the one and only gold standard of the sons of the Dark Continent

Like any other currency, it is the prize in many criminal endeavors. Cannibals burglarize inmate lockers and pull strong arm robberies for the precious powder.

They use it to pay for Down Low love and Ramen Noodles.

The sharks loan it out at 100% interest per week.

In tribal rituals they drink it by the tub to experience a frenzied, sugar-induced chimp high. It is not uncommon to see Kool-Aid addled cannibal convicts sitting three abreast on benches along the outdoor walkways jackin' dey diks in unison as they ogle three hundred pound sheboon guards splish-splashing by.

Cannibals have't founded a religion around Kool-Aid yet, but don't rule it out. And don't you dare make fun of them if they do, you racist bastards.

As a side note, I would like to point out that the Ojibwa and the Lakota in Minnesota use Kool-Aid as a mixer in their Franklin Avenue Cocktails. (Franklin Avenue is the longtime heart of the Red Ghetto in South Minneapolis.)

Here's the mixing instructions for those of you who long to be a pine-scented chronic alcoholic:

Carefully punch 2 holes 180 degrees apart in the top of as many cans of ethanol-rich Lysol spray as you are able to shoplift. If you don't jiggle the can, you won't get sprayed as you punch the holes.

Slowly pour the contents into a milk jug containing a syrupy mixture of Kool-Aid and tap water.

Mix gently by swirling the mixture so as not to release the propellant that is still trapped in the Lysol. DO NOT SHAKE!

Drink neat. Ice detracts from the heady diaper pail aroma.

As they say on Franklin Avenue, you may die young if you drink this stuff, but it won't be from any kind of goddamn germs.

Anonymous said...

Garfield High School is well-known in Seattle as the black hi-skoo of Seattle, since it is 28% black, and blacks make up only 6.8% of Seattle's total population, according to greatschools.org and city-data.com

Garfield = 28% black
http://www.greatschools.org/cgi-bin/wa/other/1561#students

Seattle = 6.8% black
http://www.city-data.com/city/Seattle-Washington.html

==================

Rumors of Muggings Lead Garfield High School to Close Bathrooms

December 1, 2011 at 3:29 pm Jonah Spangenthal-Lee - Publicola

http://publicola.com/2011/12/01/rumors-of-muggings-lead-garfield-high-school-to-close-bathrooms/

Garfield High School closed its second and third floor bathrooms to students last month after rumors circulated throughout the school that students were being robbed in the restroom.

The rumors became pervasive enough that school officials took action, closing four of the school’s nine bathrooms (all boys’ restrooms) for three days in early October, according to Seattle school district spokesman Teresa Wippel.

The school’s principal went as far as notifying the school’s parent/teacher association about the rumors, but because Garfield staff were unable to identify any suspects, or find any victims, they did not report the rumors to police.

Wippel says Garfield closed the bathrooms in order to “isolate where [the incidents were] happening” so security and administrators could monitor the situation. ”The rumors stopped once they did that,” she says.

Asked whether it was unusual for the school to shut down half the bathrooms at a school with approximately 1600 students over a rumor, Wippel says the school “want[ed] to make sure our students feel safe.”

Anonymous said...

(A RAP)

Now here iz a story, about LeQuan

A young, thirsty brotha wif a guuun

Hiz mammy wouldn't git him no Kool-Ade

So dis lil' nigga tried 2 shoot her in da haid ...


Oh, yeah.

Anonymous said...

SPDL:

Great post. It’s Nice to see another numbered post. I just wanted to add a couple of observations from the field and a quick thought to the conversation. I’ve noticed on several occasions an innocuous form of TNB at convenience stores in the area that have self-serve soda fountains. This is especially evident at the locations that have the big banks of dispensers with 16 or 20 selections. The behavior noted is your subject groid will grab the largest available cup, usually something in the 64 to 72 ounce range, (there is one chain that has a refillable drum that is over 100 ounces) put a minimal amount of ice in and proceed to mix every super sweet, high corn fructose, artificially colored concoction available. This usually consists of red Hawaiian Punch, a couple of varieties of Mountain Dew, 7-up, Orange Drank and any other ghetto-riffic flavor they have available. After the cup is filled to overflowing (and all the ice has melted down during the fill) the subject groid will proceed to take a large gulp, usually consuming about a quarter to a third of it, pause while he contemplates the complex palate of interacting chemical flavorings and artificial dyes, and adjust the mix while he refills. This step may be repeated several more times until the mix is ‘just right’ and he will then proceed to the check-out scan to pay with his EBT.

I wonder if the hyper sweet tooth that blacks have is a throw-back to a time in the evolution of humans prior to the development of agriculture and a shift from a diet that consisted of large quantities of fruits (both picked off the trees and found rotting on the ground) to cereal grains that were harvested all at once and stored for consumption between harvest. It’s a well-documented fact that primates have a highly developed sense of sight, specifically when it comes to detecting different colors and hues. It is speculated that this is to help identify ripe fruit, which is easy to digest and full of high energy sugars over unripe fruit, which is not. While all humans have a preference for sweet, it has been more tempered in the races that have developed in more temperate areas that don’t offer an abundance of year round tree fruits.

NorCal

Anonymous said...


Blacks are just really, really fucking weird.


Exactly. Blacks are just different,and too different from us Pale Devils to live with us.

They don't process information like we process information.

They don't think the way we think. And before anyone else comes along with the obligatory remarks about them not being able to think at all,I'm going on record as saying that I don't hold with that. They're thinking,alright,but their thought process is sufficiently different from our thought process that neither of us can understand the other,and we very likely will never be able to do so.

( And I've long since concluded that the gap between those two very different ways of thinking is unbridgeable,and that trying to do so is a waste of time and effort and resources. )

They react to stimuli differently than we react. And again,the difference is so great that I don't think trying to close it is worth the trouble.

These people are not meant to be in close proximity to us. We just plain and simple can't live with each other as neighbors. And that's a problem-because every society needs to have a Meeting Of Minds underpinning it.

By Meeting of Minds ( a Bus.Law 101 term that's useful for a lot of other things),I mean that everyone needs to agree on certain concepts-or at the very least,know what someone else is talking about without having to grab a dictionary. And when talking about blacks and whites,this concept is almost totally lacking.

So separation is really the only answer. A lot of feelings will get hurt and a lot of rice bowls will get broken,but this separation has to take place,because the alternative really doesn't bear thinking about.

Ben N Indiana said...

Interesting video on black racism:

http://youtu.be/x86u1QHze7A

YT said...

LOL, ebergreen had to lookup inane.

ebergreen, I heard your people can't find the deffinition of gullible in the dictionary.

Anonymous said...

They got off with a slap on the wrist because no other students would say anything.

No po-po?

Perhaps they wanted to Be Cool?

mr_evergreen said...

LOL, ebergreen had to lookup inane.

ebergreen, I heard your people can't find the deffinition of gullible in the dictionary."

Wow, nothing better to do than insult me.

I looked it up in order to appease someone. I know what it means. I also know that gullible means easy to fool. I am in college.

Bartholomew Reagan said...

It was fascinating working as a Wal-Mart cashier in South Baltimore, while attending grad school. I learned SO much about the eating habits of various races!

I knew of the black propensity for sugary, colorful non-carbonated drinks, but didn't fully comprehend the magnitude of their lust for it until then! VERY rarely would I ever see them purchase bottled water, and even soda of any variety..they seldom ever drink soda...well, that would be excluding Sprite, of course.

Another interesting observation: black people buy TONS of dental products! They would sometimes buy upwards of 5 or 6 large tubes of toothpaste and a multi-pack of toothbrushes at a time. Very frequently!

I imagine this means they are very aware of the negative affects their drink proclivities will have on their teeth. Rather than changing their behavior, they just brush it away. Also, very few dentists accept Medicaid...they're on their own in terms of dental care!

mr_evergreen said...

Why do Blacks like kool-aid? Well, why is it that in the Deep South, Southern Whites drink their tea with so much sugar? Sounds more like a southern thing to me.

Anonymous said...

Great numbered post PK. There's a term blacks in the south use for their super-sweetened concoctions called "family reunion" style. It can be applied to tea, kool-aid, etc. That means it's the super saturated "good" stuff. Sugar is like a drug in their culture. They also consume these super sugary drinks here, and I'm not making this up, called Jungle Juice. I would urge you to visit Mississippi some time for story ideas. You could write an entire book on how fuxated this state is entirely because of blacks. Mississippi is 40% black, btw. If any of these DWLs had to live with or near as many blacks as we do, they might finally get it. I know they escape to their whitopias, just like whites here do. But when they're 40% of the population, it's impossible to ever completely escape them. That's something whites elsewhere don't have to contend with. I come to SBPDL every day. It's a welcome relief from the constant libtard "explanations" I see on MSM. I've lived here pretty much my entire life. Obviously, we deal with bizarre black behavior all the time. We have our DWLs also, not very many Thank God, but most whites know firsthand how dysfunctional blacks are. We routinely practice the soft bigotry of lowered expectations because we know from experience that any dealings with a black will be screwed up and become unnecessarily complicated. I'm sure your readers know what I'm talking about. They can take the simplest thing and make it extraordinarily convoluted and complicated. It's like they have no linear thinking capacity whatsoever. I personally think the libtard enablers have made them that way, or perhaps amplified an already existing trait, but that's a whole other post. Even the clever blacks here know if they want something fixed right and at a fair price, go to the white owned business. Be it your car, your air-conditioner, plumbling, electrical (especially electrical, don't know what it is about blacks and electricity), etc. Whites here will go out of their way to avoid dealing with blacks, even for something as simple as cell phone service, computer needs, etc. Why waste your time and effort dealing with a black salesperson who doesn't know the answer anyway, but will just tell you something to get you out of the way so he can get back to "holler'n at dem hoes" on his cell phone, when you can go to the white run location and get the right answer the first time? And that's just one of thousands of examples. Since my city and county, (Jackson, MS-Hinds County), are now run by blacks, things are quickly going to hell. Wouldn't be surprised if we wind up in the same predicament as Jefferson County/Birmingham, AL soon, but that too is a whole other post.

Thanks for providing this forum and keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

This is totally off-topic...the Christian/Newsom families will have to sit through a new set of trials. The murderers have been granted new trials because the judge was under the influence.

Anonymous said...

"My challenge to the black readers of this blog: Find me stories of white middle school students that do this to eachother."

Don't know why this didn't show up the first time I posted it, but here you go!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34P94JliUX0&feature=related

Anonymous said...

Nutrition in Kool-Aid: Sugar and artificial flavor. In other words, non nutritional.
Nutrition in Beer: See below

Calories: 153
Protein: 1.64 g
Carbohydrates: 12.64 g
Calcium: 14 mg
Magnesium: 21 mg
Phosphorus: 50 mg
Potassium: 96 mg
Sodium: 14 mg
Zinc: 0.04 mg
Thiamin: 0.018 mg
Riboflavin: 0.089 mg
Niacin: 1.826 mg
Pantothenic Acid: 0.146 mg
Vitamin B6: 0.164 mg

Anonymous said...

"Sounds more like a southern thing to me."

Blacks in the east, west, and north all like kool-aid, so obviously it's not a "southern thing".

Evergreen, please take your lame "whites do it too" responses somewhere else, they will not fly here, and only serve to make you look like a childish whiner.

mr_evergreen said...

"Blacks in the east, west, and north all like kool-aid, so obviously it's not a "southern thing"."

Blacks in the South went all over the USA and took alot of southernisms with them. Whites in the South drink very sweet tea, but Whites in California don't. I'm not whining, I'm just saying some things in Black culture come from the South.

Anonymous said...

"Blacks in the South went all over the USA and took alot of southernisms with them."

Blacks began migrating out of the south long before kool-aid even existed, therefore they did NOT take kool-aid with them.

As always, your bullshit arguments fail.

Zenster said...

Louisville Metro Police arrested a man Monday morning after they said he attacked his mother over a glass of Kool-Aid.

According to arrest records, 35-year-old Lequan Washington became angry when his mother told him to go get his own glass of Kool-Aid that she had already prepared.


How sharper than the serpent's tooth be the thankless child.

Then again, Lequan just might have a lot of repressed anger issues due to having been given such a limp name.

Zenster said...

mr_evergreen: Beer is worse for you than kool-aid. At least you don't get drunk off of kool-aid.

Your colossal display of combined historical ignorance and gustatory unrefinement is duly noted.

Clearly you are unable to comprehend the importance of beer during the Middle Ages.

Each morning, staff of the British royal houses were issued the first of their daily rations of ale.

Q: Why would anyone start the day drinking an alcoholic beverage?

A: If the brew did not go sour, it meant that the water in it ― unlike anything you were going to pump out of the Thames ― was reasonably pure.

Detrimental bacteria would damage the brewing process by interfering with normal yeast behavior.

(Veteran world travelers I have known would brush their teeth with beer if the local water was questionable.)

Even if Kool-Aid had existed back then, it would have been a sure ticket to a host of internal and, often fatal, disorders.

Finally, Kool-Aid will never manage to exhibit a scintilla of the complexity that Augustinerbräu München does.

Note to any Pilsner and lager fans here at SBPDL:

This beer is one of the most remarkable I have tasted in a very long time. My background includes work as a professional chef along with management of catering operations and I have been paid to sample beer, wine and liquor. (Yeah, I know, nice work when you can get it.)

This German brew is sublimely balanced with respect to bitter hops and toasty yeast flavors. It's smoothness is rivaled only by the intricate top notes and lingering finish. Augustinerbräu München is one of the few beers I've ever tasted that can contend with Danish Tuborg Grøn.

YT said...

nah,I'm pretty sure it's yourfaultzenster. You white debil you.

Anonymous said...

mr evergreen,

First, any violence committed against you, outside of self defense, is intolerable and I'm sure even your most vehement critics on this site would agree. Also you won't hear excuse making/blame shifting from the posters here for the white miscreants.

Now in response to my challenge to find stories of white middle schoolers behaving badly, you cited shooting rampages and bomb scares. These are serious events certainly and do indeed warrant a strong response, however, these types of incidents are truly isolated and usually involve lone individuals. Prior to and since the Columbine massacre, there wasn't and hasn't been any trouble, viral videos of bathroom brawls, or other reported violence. I would predict that the violence displayed in the video from the Detroit middle school is a common daily occurrence.


Anonymous @ December 2, 2011 10:35 AM,

Thanks for providing a link to the video on youtube. The case you cite of 8 girls beating the 16 year old is disturbing, but again, appears to be an isolated event. It also looks like the beating took place at someone's house and not likely a part of daily life at school life. As I perused the other videos of "bathroom beat downs" and other miscellaneous fights I noted that a large majority of the videos appear to be of black people. Now it may be that black folk just have a penchant for taking candid fight videos and this would explain why they outnumber those of whites beating each other; but if that is the case, then doesn't that speak poorly of black culture?

Anonymous said...

This article is dead-on. I know b/c I teach public high school in the Deep South. So true.
"Gots to have mines Koolaid."

Anonymous said...

Personally I don't think that Negroes drinking Koolaid or smoking Kool cigarettes is all that important.
In fact, it's the least of their promblems.

Discard said...

Maybe they just think that Kool-Aid must be cool.

Anonymous said...

I am a year late but I am white and know white people have problems too like plastic surgery, binge eating, and the white suicide rate is way higher than the black...you can't tear down a specific group of people for their "habits" when we have our own.