#117. Not Finding the Leprechaun

Leprechaun's are a myth originating in Ireland and largely living in South Bend, Indiana now, where the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame hope to one day find a pot of gold at the end of their football season.

However in a town near Mobile, Alabama, Black people have found what is purported to be a Leprechaun and are attempting to capture it to acquire the pot-o-gold he has stashed.

As the famous video by NBC reporter Brian Johnson shows, Black people in Mobile community of Crichton rose to international prominence as they discussed the mythological creature inhabitating one of the their trees: and how they would get the gold!

This is the one of the first times in recorded history that a white person has been welcomed with open arms into the Black community and many pundits have wondered if the Leprachaun's might play a vital role in finally ending the Cold War in race relations that isn't showing signs of thawing anytime soon.

A major news story was published on the Leprachaun that helped generate even more publicity for the Mobile town and the Black community there:

"Pretty soon, there were long traffic jams as out-of-towners brandishing Irish flutes and torches drove into Mobile to catch a peek. Many quickly found that, if they shone a torch up at the tree, the leprechaun would disappear. "I've seen him more than once," said John Trinidad. "You just have to keep staring long enough and he'll show up. I told friends about this and they thought I was nuts but they've now seen him too. "No one had heard of Crichton before. Now if you type in the word on the internet, all you get is stuff about leprechauns."

Some of the more incredible quotes from the video:

"To me it look like a leprechaun to me, all you got to do is look up in tree... who all seen the leprechaun say yeah (to which a large group of Black people respond yeah)!!!

Could be a crackhead that got hold of the wrong stuff and it told him to get up in the tree and play a leprechaun."

One Black person even brought potions to ward off spells and had a magical leprechaun flute that has been passed down for thousands of years in his family.

However, no gold has been found yet and the Black residents of Mobile are trying to do everything they can to find it, even potentially uprooting the tree where the leprechaun was first spotted:

"There is a pot of gold under the leprechaun tree. -We are working with a local citizen who is planning on uprooting the tree via rented backhoe in order to determine if there is in fact a pot of gold under the tree. This plan has been delayed as it turns out that the tree it on city property and a permit is needed to dig it up. Despite all the evidence, authorities have not yet provided this permit."

Black people want to find this Leprechaun in Mobile and will do anything to get it. Stuff Black People Don't Like will include not finding the Leprechaun, until Black people finally get their hands on this white man's gold for good.

#170. Losing gold teeth

Black people are fascinated by gold, more so than the Spanish Conquistadors of old. Black people love gold so much, that they have it fashioned to put onto their teeth, known throughout the Black community as "grillz".

A subculture has grown around this fascinating practice and has become a lucrative business for entrepreneur's hoping to affix their wares on the Black persons bicuspids.

One practitioner of the art of "grillzing" writes,

"Gold teeth are a product that has been increasingly growing over the past eight years, especially since the attention given to them from celebrities such as Nelly and Flavor Flav. Since that time, they've taken on several different names, such as gold fronts, gold caps, gold slugs, grills and grillz."

The problem for "grillz" advocates remains maintaining the integrity of said gold piece in their mouths, while using the restroom.

Recently at a Major League Baseball (MLB) game between the Atlanta Braves and the New York Mets, a woman lost one of her "grillz" in the latrine. While relieving herself, somehow her "grillz" become dislodged and ended up resting in the bowels of the commode.

Her first instinct was to attempt a rescue operation by jamming her hand into the toilet, but she became stuck. In the toilet. Fishing for her "grillz". Black people do not like losing gold teeth.

All stories of the deadly encounter with the toilet left out the racial group this women belonged too, but a call to the plumbing company that rescued this woman from mindless butchery at the hands of a "grillz" devouring toilet provided the answer: A Black woman.

As the Fox story continues:

"It's unclear how long she was trapped screaming in the john, but stadium security guards and emergency medical personnel eventually showed up.

But they could not pry her loose on their own.

The anxious victim, meanwhile, could only wait as the toilet continued to flush over her arm."

Video of the event is unavailable at the moment, but Stuff Black People Don't Like is asking readers to scourge the internet in hopes of finding cell phone videos or pictures of this woman fishing into the abyss of toiletry for her "grillz". Because, as you now know, Black people don't like losing gold teeth.

Worse, the woman never retrieved her gold tooth from the toilet.