Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween From SBPDL

No new posts today (a lack of sleep and a lack of time equals new posts coming tomorrow), but we will wrap up the Halloween week at SBPDL in style tomorrow on All Saints Day.

In the meantime, Happy Halloween to one and all. It is our hope at SBPDL that you and your family enjoy this day, as you go forth into your community and trick or treat or attend parties.

Just be careful not to wear sheets, attend fraternity parties or bring up that McDonald's once executed marketing campaigns that weren't 365Black. Pop in a good Halloween movie, instead.

So go ahead and set back your clocks and prepare for Halloween week being wrapped (four posts to go). Read through the archives if you need more SBPDL, because tonight, the ultimate European holiday is being celebrated.

Stuff Black People Don't Like will return soon, for no mere mortal can resist the evil of the SBPDL.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

#716. The Ghost Costume for Halloween

Already, we have discussed that Black people don’t particularly enjoy Ghosts (registered mail and dogs are also on that list). Halloween is closely linked with reverence for the dead and an understanding that on Halloween, the thin line that separates the land of the living from the realm of the deceased is blurred:

“On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future.”

Black people find ghosts abominable, for these other worldly specters have the ability to bestow sudden frights upon them that leave Black people petrified (after the initial striking back, as SPBDL: Sudden Frights, teaches us).

Scary movies that are shown at theaters are a wonderful place to see Black people being frightened by make-believe ghosts, which send Black people into a permanent frenzy of non-stop chatter, as they deliver play-by-play during the movie to avoid being scared.

However, apparitions in movies and the thought of a real-life floating ghoul hardly create the fear and dread in Black people, that a person donning white sheets and impersonating a ghost does.

The decision by an individual to mimic the appearance of a ghost sends shivers of paranoia and fear down a Black persons spine, for the potential of multiple people adorned in ghost paraphernalia is a thought to dreadful to contemplate.

The inscrutable and inveterate fear that Black people have of ghosts and of those who dress like ghosts on Halloween is one that SBPDL hopes they are soon manumit from, for the seemingly scurrilous nature Black people view this Halloween costume is reaching truly frightening dimensions:

"The Halloween garb worn by a Westview student last week was a ghost costume, not a Klan outfit, the boy's father said yesterday. “My son is not racist. He was more naive than malicious,” said the father, whose name is not being used because he said he feared his son could be subject to harassment.

The father called The San Diego Union-Tribune yesterday after print and broadcast media publicized reports of the incident, one of two that has prompted a parents group to call for diversity and tolerance training in the Poway Unified School District.

The group, Concerned Parents Alliance, said the Westview High student wore a costume resembling a Ku Klux Klan outfit on Halloween. The group also was concerned about an incident last month in which a noose was found hanging in a boys bathroom at Poway High School in Poway….

“It was a ghost costume made by his aunt 10 years ago,” he said. “He and his brother had worn it on and off for years.”

Superintendent Don Phillips said he's been told that the boy has friends who are black, and they have said the teen is not racist.

“Sometimes kids don't understand that some symbolism can be really, really powerful and hurtful,” Phillips said.

“Whether it was meant to be a ghost costume or not, it was not interpreted that way,” Phillips said. He said the district recognizes the need to create greater sensitivity among students.”

Black people have a distinct fear of ghosts that has a correlation to their great dislike of Halloween, and for their continued fear that a resurrection of a largely irrelevant organization (whose membership consists of people living with their parents and FBI agents) is just around the corner.

There can be no denying the similarity between the robes of those who are members of a long immaterial organization and those of children or adults enjoying Halloween wearing the sheets with cut-out eye holes in a moving deference to the traditional image of the ghost.

Think back to the classic film, ET: The Extra Terrestrial, and the importance of the traditional ghost costume in helping our beleaguered illegal alien attempt to contact his friends in space to pick him up:

“On Halloween, Michael and Elliott dress E.T. as a ghost so they can sneak it out of the house. Elliott and E.T. ride a bicycle to the forest, where E.T. makes a successful call home. The next morning, Elliott wakes up to find E.T. gone, and returns home to his distressed family. Michael finds E.T. dying in the forest, and takes the alien to Elliott, who is also dying.”

The ghost costume is much maligned, for you have to remember that any attempt to defame Black people in America is grounds for social and immediate expulsion, as Black people are a protected class from any criticism or from seeing people dressed as ghosts.

One of the easiest ways to end a debate with someone who is using Hate Facts is to say they must be a member of an organization that finds great delight in dressing up in ghost costumes on days that aren’t Halloween, for the KKK inference is one any person will immediately back off from. Even Hate Facts have a kryptonite:

Two students in Leesburg were suspended for wearing Ku Klux Klansman-like costumes to class amid apparent rising racial tensions at a high school, according to a Local 6 News report.

Local 6 News has learned that besides the costumes, there has been at least one other incident reported during the week of homecoming festivities at Leesburg High School.

Two black students were arrested and charged with felonies after allegedly getting into fights with white students.

"There is a problem," student Gilliam Kamken said. "If there wasn't a problem, all of this would not be going on. Nobody would be fighting. Nobody would be in the hospital, and nobody would be in jail."

"It is not just white people against black people and black people against white people," student Elese Stein said. "I think it is more of an attention thing."

No one ever bothered to ask these students (this happened during the month of October) if they were just massive fans of Halloween and were eager to engage in trick or treating. You see, Halloween is 365white, not 365Black.

This incident has been repeated numerous times over and the confusion of the similarity between the ghost costume and the KKK accoutrements is eerie, but has had harsh ramifications for those who dare to blur the line between phantom and hate:
"A dozen Tri-state high school students made quite a scene at the school halloween dance when they put on Ku Klux Klan outfits.

Students and administrators in Rising Sun, Indiana, say they're upset it happened and shocked the students would do it.

The principal made the students take off the outfits right away, but the damage was done.

9News learned the students were told they have to go through sensitivity training or risk suspension.

People in the community are also being asked to reach out to each other.

"I think you're surprised if one person shows up [in KKK garb], but sometimes good people, whether they're adults or kids, do things that aren't the best and make bad decisions and that's what we had. We had about 12 individuals make a very bad decision," said Superintendent Steve Patz.

The students, all boys, came to the dance wearing sheets, dressed as ghosts and pulled out hoods a little later.

There was one African-American girl at the dance, 9News learned.

Although the superintendent says he's under the impression the act wasn't done maliciously, it doesn't matter.

He says this kind of action regarding race, religion, cultures -- just can't happen.”
Halloween brings out the ghoul in everyone who participates in the revelry of the day, and some parties (Fraternity parties) have been mistaken for hate filled congregations of bigots. The ghost costume was a major hit in Pre-Obama America, but still was viewed as a risqué costume for the odious connotations it inspired.

So, be careful when wearing a ghost costume to your Halloween party, for Stuff Black People Don’t Like includes the ghost costume for Halloween, as this ensemble combines a number of variables that elicit fear in Black people.

For in reality, Black people believe all white people have a ghost costume in their house ready to don at any moment, and that upside down T's will appear everywhere.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

#717. Halloween Movies for Kids

In but a few days time, millions of youth will take to the streets to trick or treat for candy from neighbors; fraternities will once again be host to parties that leave little to the imagination; and adults will dress up in fantasy gear to engage in vain attempts to replicate their youth by searching for a new type of candy.

There are people who don’t celebrate Halloween out of religious convictions, largely because Halloween's origins are derived from pagans (more on this in a later post):

"The word Halloween is derived from the term "All Hallows Eve" which occurred on Oct. 31, the end of summer in Northwestern Europe. "All Saints Day," or "All Hallows Day" was the next Day, Nov. 1st. Therefore, Halloween is the eve of All Saints Day. Apparently, the origins of Halloween can be traced back to ancient Ireland and Scotland around the time of Christ. On Oct. 31st, the Celts celebrated the end of summer."
As we will soon learn, Halloween is one of the ultimate manifestations of white people and their history, but today is not the date necessary to discuss this, for another topic exists that showcases exactly why Black people find the entire notion of Halloween fatuous and beneath the need to include it in the 365Black celebration.

We have discussed how Black people love movies in numerous posts, for movies offer one of the purist forms of escapism from the doldrums of life that one can encounter. Yet, many movies are highly offensive to Black people (Good Hair being one), and one genre of holiday film leaves Black people fuming: Halloween movies.

Pre-Obama America has never been more glamorized than when Oct. 31 is celebrated in celluloid, for the major films about Halloween produced by Hollywood exist in an entirely alternate universe where Black people scarcely exist, save for a token Black in a minor, minor and completely uncredited role.

Why is this? Well, SBPDL will elaborate on this in a later post, but the reason is simple: the United States once resembled a Whitopia from sea to shining sea, and now, these same people are being forced into hiding on 21st century reservations that have golf courses, almost no crime and plenty of gracious home owners dispensing candy to children who live in these bubbles, or Whitopia's.

However, Halloween films offer a unique view of America that not even Norman Rockwell could immortalize in one of his paintings, for few children who have experienced the glory that is Halloween have been able to articulate the feeling of anticipation and dread that exists for this holiday.

For, Halloween is about friendship, community and family, but beneath the flashy candy exterior lays the reality of Halloween in its Pagan roots: the celebration of those dead. You see, Halloween is essentially a date where the young of the Western World learn about mortality, for one day they too will perish.

We have learned that Black people have little reverence for the dead, and for this reason Halloween must be day that befuddles them greatly (some would argue that Black people have little respect for the living as well).

It is in Halloween movies that the former land of Pre-Obama America is canonized, and it is in these films that white people can view all that is lost and that Black people can see how real communities are organized.

Take for instance The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, a story by Washington Irving that tells the tale of a post-American Revolutionary War town, where white people are building a community and a nation:
"The story is set circa 1790 in the Dutch settlement of Tarry Town, New York, in a secluded glen called Sleepy Hollow. It tells the story of Ichabod Crane, a lean, lanky, and extremely superstitious schoolmaster from Connecticut, who competes with Abraham "Brom Bones" Van Brunt, the town rowdy, for the hand of 18-year-old Katrina Van Tassel, the daughter and sole child of a wealthy farmer, Baltus Van Tassel.

As Crane leaves a party he attended at the Van Tassel home on an autumn night, he is pursued by the Headless Horseman, who is supposedly the ghost of a Hessian trooper who had his head shot off by a stray cannonball during "some nameless battle" of the American Revolutionary War, and who "rides forth to the scene of battle in nightly quest of his head"."
It is in a story like this, and the cartoon movie version that children can see for themselves just who the founders of the United States were and where Black people can view Pre-Obama America in her infancy.

A land of hope and change it was, where the English had been defeated, and communities were being built with a watchful eye to a collective future of prosperity.

It was Charles Schulz who wrote the timeless comic strip, The Peanuts, and who gave the world that perpetual loser with the awe-shucks attitude, Charlie Brown. But his Halloween special, "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown":
"With autumn already in full swing, the Peanuts gang prepare for Halloween festivities. Meanwhile, Linus writes a letter to The Great Pumpkin; to Charlie Brown's disbelief, Snoopy's laughter, Patty's assurance that the Great Pumpkin is a fake, and even to Lucy's violent threat to make Linus stop. Linus laments in the letter that "more people believe in Santa Claus than in you [The Great Pumpkin]". Linus decides to spend his Halloween in the pumpkin patch, waiting for the Great Pumpkin to arrive...

When 4:00 AM rolls around on November 1, Lucy gets out of her bed to check on Linus. Seeing that Linus' bed is empty, she goes out to the pumpkin patch only to find Linus lying on the ground, shivering and covered in his blanket. Showing how much she cares for Linus (despite thinking that the Great Pumpkin is nonsense), Lucy walks him home to his room and takes his shoes off, and Linus passes out in his own bed as Lucy puts the covers on him before storming out of his room.

Later on that day, Charlie Brown and Linus are at the rock wall, talking about last night's events. When Charlie Brown tries to console Linus saying, "I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, too.", Linus blows a fuse and angrily vows to Charlie Brown that the Great Pumpkin will come next year, and his ranting continues as the credits roll."

It is myths that people build identification with their past, solidify cohesion in their present and thus, have a foundation for a future. Sleepy Hollow and the The Great Pumpkin, both represent Halloween in vastly different ways, but have a sound correlation: children need enduring myths that bind them together, and from fertile minds have sprung wonderful stories that promote Halloween to white people, yet strangely leave out Black people.

Recent stories only punctuate the importance of Halloween to the cannon of Western Man, and the nearly complete Black-out of Black people from these celebrations of the macabre. Ray Bradbury gives us a haunting tale of The Halloween Tree, a story that teaches children respect for the dead, and that Halloween is far more than just a date to collect free candy:
"A group of eight boys set out to go trick-or-treating on Halloween, only to discover that a ninth friend, Pipkin, has been whisked away on a journey that could determine whether he lives or dies. Through the help of a mysterious character named Moundshroud, they pursue their friend across time and space through ancient Egyptian, Greek, and Roman cultures, Celtic Druidism, Notre Dame Cathedral in Medieval Paris, and The Day of the Dead in Mexico.

Along the way, they learn the origins of the holiday that they celebrate, and the role that the fear of death has played in shaping civilization. The Halloween Tree itself, with its many branches laden with jack-o'-lanterns, serves as a metaphor for the historical confluence of these traditions."
The movie version of this tale is a story that oddly glorifies a Whitopia, and follows the five friends, one of whom is on his deathbed:

"This kids travel to Halloweens past learning why they are dressed as they are- first to Egypt, to learn of the day of the dead, and the significance of mummification. Next they witness old rituals carried out by Celtic Druids, learning the origin and myths of witches. They travel next to an unfinished Notre Dame (which they finish in a matter of minutes with Moundshroud's magic), to learn of the Cathedral's use of gargoyles and demons to ward off evil spirits. The at last arrive in Mexico, where the significance of skeletons is revealed, and where Halloween is celebrated as a means of overcoming one's fear of death. It is in an old tomb in Mexico that they catch up to Pip finally, too late to save him.

Moundshroud tell the children they didn't make it in time and Pip is now his property, symbolized by his pumpkin. The children, eager to have their friend back, bargain a year from each of their lives, in exchange for Pip's- Moundshroud accept the deal, and they are teleported home. The children rush to Pip's house once more, to see if the entire ordeal was in fact real, and are delighted to see their friend back from the hospital. He recounts the journey as a dream he experienced during surgery."

Friendship, loyalty and respect for the dead are glamorized in this story and the movie offers a touching denouement that is a metaphor for all the people who have sacrificed before us, to ensure that we would have the right to live. The need to always remember those who came before us on October 31 has never been more beautifully displayed than in this film.

And yet, Black people are not to be seen.

Disney put out a film in 1993 that has become a hit - Hocus Pocus - for this film acts a simple lesson in the Salem Witch Trials and connects it to contemporary Salem, a Whitopia if there ever was one:

"The movie opens in 1693 in Salem, Massachusetts where three witch sisters — Winifred, Sarah, and Mary Sanderson — lure a young girl named Emily to their house in the woods, where they prepare to suck out the girl's lifeforce. Her brother, Thackery Binx, attempts to rescue her, but he is caught by the witches and forced to watch as they drain Emily's lifeforce, killing her in the process. As the witches are about to do the same to Binx, he angrily calls Winifred a hag, declaring that there is not enough children in the world to make her beautiful. This prompts a livid Winifred and her sisters to instead turn him into an immortal black cat capable of speech, punishing him for the insult by forcing him "not to die, but to live forever with his guilt".

Not long after this occurs, the witches are caught by the town elders — including Binx's grieving father — and are sentenced to death for their use of witchcraft. The Sanderson sisters are hanged by the Salem townsfolk, but not before Winifred's spellbook casts a curse which would raise the three of them from the dead if and when a virgin lit the Black-Flamed Candle in the witches' home. Unable to return to his family, Binx dedicated his immortal life to guarding the Sanderson home so this curse could not come to light.

Three hundred years later, in 1993, a teenage boy from Los Angeles named Max moves to Salem with his parents and younger sister Dani. Max falls for a girl named Allison who has good knowledge of the history of the Sanderson sisters. On Halloween, Max, Dani and Allison visit the old house of the witches which has since become a museum, and Max lights the Black-Flamed Candle, which summons powerful magic to raise the three witches from the dead."
Scenes of children trick or treating blissfully through the streets of Salem, families gathering to celebrate Halloween and the deep bond a brother has for his younger sister is shown in this film that once again - oddly - leaves out Black people.

Other films have been made that fit in with this piece, but the ones mentioned have one shocking similarity that is glaringly obvious: they all have a paucity of Black people and omit them completely from Halloween in Pre-Obama America.

Stuff Black People Don't Like includes Halloween movies for kids, for you would have a better chance of seeing The Great Pumpkin then seeing a Black person in any of these films. Halloween has nothing to do with 365Black, for when you get past the candy aspect of the holiday, a much deeper narrative unfolds that has its origins in Europe and grew profoundly in Pre-Obama America.

Black people worry that white people might one day look with great reverence on their ancestors again, and that Halloween (and these movies) will remind them of all that has been lost, and more importantly, all that will be worth fighting to restore.

For it is in Halloween that kids learn that "death be not proud, though some have called thee." Instead, it is a date to celebrate, and in these movies, children have a template to understand that a nationwide Whitopia once existed where a shattered Union now rests wearily.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

#24. Their Own Hair

Have you ever seen Liar Liar? This film happens to be one of Jim Carrey's finest and contains one of the most interesting nuggets of truth imaginable, as Carrey's character is unable to lie for one day (thanks to a wish from his long neglected son). Upon learning this, his son asks the following:

Max Reede: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.
Was Jim Carrey's character in the film telling the truth, and if so, what does that say about the people who spend vast amounts of money on their hair to change it from its natural state of nappiness (Nappturality) into something that doesn't resemble anything close to what nature intended:
"SILKY straight hair has long been considered by many black women to be their crowning glory. So what if getting that look meant enduring the itchy burning that’s a hallmark of many chemical straighteners. Or a pricey dependence on “creamy crack,” as relaxers are sometimes jokingly called.

Getting “good hair” often means transforming one’s tightly coiled roots; but it is also more freighted, for many African-American women and some men, than simply a choice about grooming. Straightening hair has been perceived as a way to be more acceptable to certain relatives, as well as to the white establishment.

Last year, sales of home relaxers totaled $45.6 million (excluding Wal-Mart), according to Mintel, a market research firm, a figure that has held steady in recent years. So many African-American women use relaxers or a hot comb to get a straight look temporarily that not doing so can require courage."
Hold on. Before we continue to, it is vital to point out a glaring paradox that exists between what we are about to discuss (Black hair) and the absolute loathing that Black people have for their own hair, to the point of Acting White and desperately trying to imitate white hair.

This earth shattering contradiction must be discussed at length, for Black women find the natural state of their hair too nappy, and thus, engage in ritualistic abuse to straighten their hair and embarking in the incredibly expense hair weave, which can cost between $1,000 - $3,000 a session (some stylists do take lay-a-way).

An interesting description of fighting nature with massive amounts of nurture is described her:
"A hair weave can either be sewn or glued into the existing hair. The sewing process generally takes from 1 to 4 hours depending on how much hair you decide to have sewn in to you existing hair. With the practice of proper application and maintenance, glue in hair weaves can last up to three weeks; while sewn in weaves last up to 6 weeks. No matter what kind of weave style you’re going for, a professional applied hair weave that is applied by a hair stylist can instantly provide the look you’re searching for."
Chris Rock, who once had the audacity to verbally assault a large portion of the Black people in an (in)famous comedy bit, has once again decided to assault a large portion of the Black community by pointing out that every Black woman who embarks on the odyssey of nurturing their hair from nappiness to straightness does so to Act White:
Secrets, comedian Chris Rock declares slyly, are bad for the human spirit. That's why he's gleefully talking out of school in his new documentary, Good Hair, which has some people rolling in the aisles and others rolling their eyes.

In Good Hair, Rock sets out to explore the historically fraught concept of "good hair," which for African Americans burdened by the twin legacies of slavery and racism has traditionally been defined as hair more like white people's. Do black women, he wonders, spend countless hours and hundreds of dollars in hair salons to make their hair straighter and silkier because they want to look white?

So he visits hair salons, where women get their heads slathered with toxic goop (known as "creamy crack") to "relax," or straighten, their hair.

He watches as they sit for hours getting their hair braided or a "weave" of hair extensions that can cost $1,000. He helps a scientist demonstrate what the relaxer chemicals can do to an aluminum can (it's not pretty), observes a wacky hair show contest and travels to India to see where the hair in extensions comes from. (Indian women shave their heads and donate their hair in a religious ritual; the hair is later sold by Asian-owned companies.)

Jason Griggers, 40, another Atlanta stylist in the movie, who is white, hopes the movie will help break down walls between races.

"More dialogue is better than no dialogue," he says. "When I started (going to Bronner Bros.), there was only a tiny handful of white people there, and now it's much more integrated."

A movie about Black hair and the desire by Black women to part with up to a $1,000 dollars to Act White - well, to have white hair - kick starting a dialogue about race? Wouldn't that have the adverse effect of showcasing the enormous differences between the races? SBPDL thought we were all equal?:
"[Black women's] hair costs more than anything they wear," Rock recently said in a Salon interview. "It's like the No. 2, 3 expense of their whole life." Meanwhile, in a recent discussion on MSNBC, black Princeton prof Melissa Harris-Lacewell agreed with Rachel Maddow that an Obama administration meant white people would be more emboldened to ask black people about previously taboo issues, like how they do their hair (Harris-Lacewell admitted she wasn't looking forward to that)."
Even worse than the money spent trying to Act White - or at least have white hair - is the opportunity costs that are lost in this perverse attempt to thwart nature with nurture:

"A government study shows that African American women are 70% more likely to be obese than white women. As intriguing as this statistic seems, the reasons for it are equally as interesting. Factors including time, money and even hair contribute to keeping some black women out of the gym.

Nikki Kimbrough is a celebrity fitness expert who says, "The number one excuse is 'what am I going to do with my hair,' and I can relate because I'm a black woman myself and I have the same issue".

In Nikki's fitness class, the women are of a variety of races and have a range of hair textures. Three black women from her class battle with issues about their hair, but make a consistent effort to get to the gym. Adrienne Lynch, one of Nikki's clients, is a black woman that, in the past, let her hair keep her from going to the gym"

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, four out of five African American women are overweight or obese which increases the risk of diabetes, heart disease, cancer and many other aliments.

In addition to hair and money, a big roadblock to hitting the gym is time. With the economic downturn, many African American women have more responsibilities and finding time to work out is difficult, but as these four African American women have shown, you don't have to put your beauty second to have your health come first."

Sadly, four out of five Black women aren't just passing on seconds, but they are passing thousands of dollars to Act White - err, have white-looking hair (imported from India) - and risking their own health in the process.

So how much do Black women spend to have white-looking hair?:
Today, African Americans spend an estimated $9 billion a year on hair-care products in an effort to fry it, dye it, lock it up, weave it, or make it lay flat and smooth, according to industry estimates. Still, black women often debate whether certain hair styles -- cornrows, locks or Afros -- hold them back in professional work settings such as financial and legal firms or in broadcast media.
$9 billion dollars, in an all out effort to ensure that Don Imus is wrong. Hey, even in an economic depression, Black women spend the big bucks to Act White (vicariously through Indian-imported hair):
"Every woman wants to be beautiful no matter what color, but Black women have a special pride that includes taking care of their hair," said Adams. "Even if times are hard, a good hairstyle can do a lot for an individual."
Yes, it is quite true that every woman wants to be beautiful, but as Jim Carrey taught us in Liar, Liar, nature didn't give everyone equal beauty, nor equal hair.

Sadly, the attempts to Act White by impersonating white peoples hair is nothing new, as women throughout time have been envious of white people and their hair:

"Blonde women, both natural and contrived, are disproportionately represented in film, fashion, advertising, and television. Blonde women are generally thought of as the most beautiful, not only in northern Europe and North America where many natural blondes live, but also in those parts of the world where blondes are rare. Tens of millions of women—and not just in America and Europe—lighten their hair, while only a few darken it.

Many would dismiss this almost universal passion for blondeness as a recent fashion, or as a consequence of the ubiquity and power of American culture, but Joanna Pitman’s new book On Blondes

She notes that many whites who are not natural blondes dye their hair in the hope of “passing,” and wonders: “Are those who blonde themselves still subconsciously seeking to distinguish themselves from darker and less powerful ethnic groups?” Mrs. Pitman concedes that non-white women have often turned themselves blonde but never permits herself to wonder whether at some level they may wish they were white."
An interesting question indeed. Black women spend $9 billion a year in a desperate bid to foil nature with Indian-imported locks to Act White through having white looking hair. There can only be one explanation for this: Stuff Black People Don't Like includes their own hair, for $9 billion dollars spent on fixing Black hair to look white every year, only leads to that conclusion.

Might this $9 billion dollar number reflect the ultimate Hate Fact and perhaps the ultimate self-loathing fact?

#718. Fraternity Halloween Gatherings

College is a four-year experience in the United States that supplies those who make it through with a degree and the keys to success in life. Most interestingly, many times as the person rides the journey of life with the diploma they received from said school, the memories of what they learned and the experiences they had are lost in a haze of booze and wild parties.

These college-educated individuals collectively comprise the best educated workforce on the planet, regardless of their inability to conjure up memories of parties or minute details of a microeconomics lecture on the comparative advantage of trade with Argentina, as an important Business Week article points out:
"Similarly, 28% have a college degree, a fivefold gain over this period. Today's U.S. workforce is the most educated in the world...

But now, for the first time ever, America's educational gains are poised to stall because of growing demographic trends. If these trends continue, the share of the U.S. workforce with high school and college degrees may not only fail to keep rising over the next 15 years but could actually decline slightly, warns a report released on Nov. 9 by the National Center for Public Policy & Higher Education, a nonprofit group based in San Jose, Calif. The key reason: As highly educated baby boomers retire, they'll be replaced by mounting numbers of young Hispanics and African Americans, who are far less likely to earn degrees.
Black people read this article and cringe, for a work force that was once comprised of 82 percent white people - a majority of which spent their college tenure drinking insane amounts of alcohol - was able to build the most dynamic, diverse economy man has ever known. And yet, the more diverse the United States gets, the worse our economic production will be, regardless of how much booze white people drink in college.

As Business Week points out, it is merely our educational gap - greater percentage of young Black people and less white people in the near future - that will endanger our status as a superpower. Bing drinking whites are apparently capable of unimaginable heights when it comes to dreaming of vast contributions to the nation and its economic development, but a influx of diversity merely dilutes those white peoples ability - who binge imbibed in college - to carry the burden alone.

And what is it that these white people are doing in college, whilst binge drinking? Well, many of these binge drinking white people (and future engines of economic growth in America) are members of fraternities and sororities while at college, for these social organizations give them the ability to network with older, binge drinking white people and grant them access to potential careers that will fuel the American economy, until (as Business Week pointed out) the demographic changes disrupt that economic engine completely.

All across the United States, fraternities and sororities help men and women become model citizens, contributors to society and instills a valuable code of conduct and work ethic through character building and lessons in the importance of group bonding.

Greek letters are not an uncommon sight upon the inside shin of a white male, who takes just pride in his fraternity and girls are known to have their letters on all forms of clothing, their cars and more importantly,belonging to said Greek community helps create friendships that will last for life.

Black people tried to emulate fraternities and sororities, to mixed results, with one prominent Black sorority seeing hard earned dollars go towards a $900,000 wax statue:
"Members of the country's oldest black sorority are suing to remove their president, alleging that she spent hundreds of thousands of dollars of the group's money on herself – some of it to pay for a wax statue in her own likeness.

In the suit filed in Washington, D.C., the Alpha Kappa Alpha members also alleged that international President Barbara McKinzie bought designer clothing, jewelry and lingerie with the sorority credit card

The lawsuit says $900,000 was spent on the McKinzie wax statue, but Gray said he has since learned the amount was for the two statues. The statues reportedly are to be displayed in the National Great Blacks in Wax Museum in Baltimore, Md., he said."

You would think that every person who lives in the United States and benefits from these binge drinking white peoples economic prowess would be happy that these benevolent palefaces create economic production that can employ millions. Alas, many of the memories that are forgotten by the binge drinking white people are remembered vividly by these (as Business Week said) soon to be thorns in the side of any economic expansion in the US.

We are discussing Halloween this week at SBPDL, and what better holiday that white people adore to drive home the point of Black people's angst and unflappable disgust at these binge drinking whites actions while they are co-eds, then a Black-themed party?

For Halloween offers white people the opportunity to dress in fantasy, since we all know in an Absolute World, everyone would be Kanye West, and white people all secretly wish to be Black. Thus, the reason for Gangsta-themed parties, Pimp & Ho parties and the ultimate form of impersonation, Black face.

You see, on Halloween, people get to dress up in ways that on any other day would probably sentence that person to the insane asylum, but on this most auspicious of nights, the opportunity to indulge in the most carnal of fantasies is allowed

Binge drinking white college students dress up as Black people on Halloween - not to be racist - but to emulate their favorite people whom they all wish to secretly be, for the pressure of holding up the American economy before (as Business Week stated) the rising tide of color capsizes it soon, is a great pressure indeed.

Impersonation, it has been said, is the most sincere form of flattery. These binge drinking white students dressing up as pimps and hos for a party or as gangstas is but a modest attempt to show solidarity with their Black brethren, who find Halloween insufficiently 365Black.

At schools from Auburn University, John Hopkins University, the University of Tennessee, and the University of Richmond have all seen students partake in emulate Black people out of respect for their cultural practices:

"Although many students’ Halloween costumes elicited laughter this past weekend, one person’s controversial choice ignited outrage and a flurry of discussion among the University of Richmond community.

Around 1 a.m. on Oct. 28, witnesses said a person was seen walking around the 800 block of the University Forest Apartments wearing a painted black face, a dreadlock wig and large, painted pink lips. Those who saw the person said the costume reminded them of blackface, a style of theatrical makeup that was popular in the United States during the 1800s, and one that carries a strong tones of racism in today’s society."

The binge drinking white person who dared dress in Black face, has nothing on the binge drinking white fraternity brothers at these colleges:
"For example, when three white students tried for their own laughs by dressing up as African Americans (one as Uncle Sam in blackface, the other two as tennis stars Venus and Serena Williams) for a fraternity costume party, few administrators at the University of Virginia were amused.

The public reaction has run the gamut from amusement at a sophomoric attempt at humor, to a laissez-faire "boys will be boys" attitude, to mild discomfort at white students having acted in such a politically incorrect fashion, to outrage at what some consider to be blatant racism.

Far from being an isolated incident, the flare-up at UVA over the blackface costumes follows a string of blackface controversies at college fraternities elsewhere in the country. For example, two fraternities at Auburn University were suspended after students attended a Halloween party dressed in blackface, do-rags and Afro wigs; at another party, one fraternity member came dressed as a member of the Ku Klux Klan and another came as a black man with a noose around his neck. After ruling that the school had violated the students' right to free speech, however, a circuit court judge lifted the suspensions.

In another incident, the Tau Kappa Epsilon fraternity at the University of Louisville in Kentucky was tried by a school hearing panel and found guilty of conduct that "seriously alarms, intimidates or harasses others and serves no legitimate purpose" after several of its members wore black face paint to dress as characters such as Snoop Dogg and the film character Shaft at an off-campus Halloween party. Another fraternity member, an African American, wore a white sheet and came in a Ku Klux Klan costume, which he later burned at the party.

The University of Tennessee suspended the Kappa Sigma fraternity after complaints arose over several students who wore black paint on their faces, dressing as the Jackson Five for an "air guitar" competition at a campus party; another student attended as Louis Armstrong.

One member of Sigma Alpha Epsilon at Syracuse University faced disciplinary charges of harassment and disorderly conduct after attending graduation costume parties at several local bars dressed as golf celebrity Tiger Woods.

The University of Mississippi suspended the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity after a Halloween party where a student who was dressed in a police uniform pointed a toy gun at another member who had painted his face black and was wearing overalls and a straw hat."

The Auburn University fraternity event of 2001 was so horrific that a book was written, "An Auburn Autumn", to describe the emotional baggage that Black people carry from binge drinking white people (who as Business Week stated, carry the US economy):

"The issue of free speech is at the heart of a lawsuit filed last month by suspended members of the fraternity Beta Theta Pi against Auburn University. The university suspended 10 members of two White fraternities -- Beta Theta Pi and Delta Sigma Phi -- following a Halloween party where members performed mock lynchings, paraded in blackface and donned homemade Ku Klux Klan hoods. Members of Delta Sigma Phi said they are also considering legal action.

"This is the hardest thing for people to understand: The First Amendment protects free speech, regardless of how offensive it is," says Robert Sedler, a constitutional law professor at Wayne State University and an expert on First Amendment law. "And that means tolerating an awful lot of hurtful speech. It's similar to flag burning. No matter how much that turned patriotic people off, it was protected by the Constitution."

So, even though these binge drinking white people engage in the most sincere form of flattery by dressing up as Black people, Fraternity Halloween Gatherings has the makings of Stuff Black People Don't Like.

For, as Business Week stated, the US economy might be running out of steam and nearing the end of its global dominance with the more Black people and less white people in the workforce, yet the benevolent nature of dressing up as Black people for Halloween is one of the most evil things a person can do.

Even though binge drinking white people might be performing these acts of Black face and flattery far removed from said Black people, the hurt feelings caused by these events are the ultimate form of insensitivity.

Worse, though it is flattery, Black people have a hard time taking jokes at their own expense. In the end, as Business Week pointed out, the US economy will be in the hands of precious few former binge drinking whites, who once had the audacity of dressing up in homage to Black people.

And it will be these Black people who decide the fate of America's status as a superpower.

Monday, October 26, 2009

#719. McDonald's Celebrating Halloween

There is a time and place that is now but an epoch of history, forever enshrined in the history books as an era of oppression, persecution and cultural hegemony fostered upon venerable Black people who were mere unwitting subjects to this endless parade of supremacy: Pre-Obama America.

Enshrined in the images of the 1950s, this America of
yesteryear was 90 percent white (1964) and in dire need of an injection of diversity, so a new people were imported to interact with the Black minority that was trying to assimilate themselves.

It is safe to state that the new term introduced to the vernacular in this country – Whitopia – would have been severely out of place in Pre-Obama America, for the nation as a whole was a Whitopia. Yes, the United States was once a Whitopia from sea to shining sea and this foolishness had to come to an end.

In this world of yore, a date existed on the calendar that all children looked forward too, for October 31 offered the opportunity for kids to collect free candy by going door to door in their neighborhoods.

This adventure into the Whitopia was an exercise in what Robert Putnam would eventually deride as now extinct due to the diversity we now have, which had to replace the evil oppression of the past:
“At the same time, though, Putnam's work adds to a growing body of research indicating that more diverse populations seem to extend themselves less on behalf of collective needs and goals.”
Halloween is a holiday for communities and can only be celebrated in areas of the country that are safe for children to travel in packs. Trust has to exist from household to household, so that doors can be opened and treats dispensed to costume-adorned children, whom could harbor tricks if the offerings aren’t satisfactory.

Once, a company found it imperative to work hand in hand with Whitopia’s across the increasingly Balkanizing United States to ensure that the families who frequented the restaurant would feel an attachment to the community, and continue to indulge in the food served under the Golden Arches.

Yes, we are talking about McDonald’s, a company that has served billions the world over, but got its start in the Whitopia that once was America:

“The present corporation dates its founding to the opening of a franchised restaurant by Ray Kroc, in Des Plaines, Illinois on April 15, 1955, the ninth McDonald's restaurant overall. Kroc later purchased the McDonald brothers' equity in the company and led its worldwide expansion and the company became listed on the public stock markets in 1965. Kroc was also noted for aggressive business practices, compelling the McDonald brothers to leave the fast food industry.

The McDonald brothers and Kroc feuded over control of the business, as documented in both Kroc's autobiography and in the McDonald brothers' autobiography. The site of the McDonald brothers' original restaurant is now a monument.

With the expansion of McDonald's into many international markets, the company has become a symbol of globalization and the spread of the American way of life. Its prominence has also made it a frequent topic of public debates about obesity, corporate ethics and consumer responsibility.”

Yes, McDonald’s does accurately depict the “American way of life” or at least the path it is now traversing, for like Frosts “two roads diverging”, the United States decided to embark on a future removed from a universal “Whitopia” and opted for geographically scattered “Whitopia's” amidst a rising tide of color.

Now, McDonald’s marketing strategy is officially targeted at those who notoriously don’t pass on seconds - Black people - for Sprite and McDonald’s are a staple in Black peoples diet and the corporate giants behind these products believe that a mere 13 percent of population is enough of the market share to warrant 365Black:

“At McDonald's®, we believe that African-American culture and achievement should be celebrated 365 days a year — not just during Black History Month. That's the idea behind It's a place where you can learn more about education, employment, career advancement and entrepreneurship opportunities, and meet real people whose lives have been touched by McDonald's."

With McDonald unveiling its 365Black campaign, it is clear that this corporate heavyweight no longer finds the contributions of those who inhabit Whitopia’s important, save for the occasional purchase of a value meal. Interestingly, this campaign might be paying off, for the same people who hate losing in the lottery our finding the calorie jackpot in the form of the $1 menu at McDonald’s:

“McDonald's Corp. on Thursday reported a 6% rise in third-quarter profit as new products and promotions helped fuel growth across all of its global markets.

Oak Brook, Ill.-based McDonald's /quotes/comstock/13*!mcd/quotes/nls/mcd (MCD 59.24, -0.19, -0.32%) earned $1.26 billion, or $1.15 a share, on the period up from $1.19 billion, or $1.05 a share, in the same quarter a year ago.”

The decision to market McDonald’s to Black people only in the United States has had one tremendously negative effect on a certain holiday: Halloween.

Once, McDonald’s marketing campaigns worked overtime to reflect the majority of the nation it wished to see frequent the many franchises that dotted the landscape, but that was in a time when the Whitopia’s of today was America of yesterday.

Most incredibly, McDonald’s had a long history of dedicating the month of October to Halloween, and catering it’s Happy Meal product to children through the innovative strategy of offering its kids meal in a candy-collecting, Halloween theme pail:

“In October 1986, America was introduced to three Halloween pails: McGoblin, McBoo, and McPunk'n. The buckets were presumably intended to be taken trick-or-treating and used to collect candy, but they are far too small for that. The buckets say they are safe for children ages 1 and over, but they're hardly useful to children over the age of 4. In my experience, the pumpkin pails hold roughly one street's worth of candy, assuming the street has at least 40 houses and none of them belong to dickheads with no Halloween spirit.

"But once you start kindergarten, a bucket's worth of candy just isn't enough. You realize that there's a whole town's worth of free candy out there for the taking and you make your mother take you all over the neighborhood until you have enough chocolate to last you until Easter. Or maybe you don't... but I did."

Not only did McDonald’s offer Halloween pails for young people, it offered a candy-collecting device for parents to use so that they didn’t have to purchase another said device, thanks to the fine folks at McDonald’s who were interested in community-building for other people, instead of the 365Black demographic, which oddly denies even the existence of 64 percent of United States citizens. (Once, McDonald's placated the majority as this website shows, prior to McDonald’s abandoning marketing to the Whitopia)

Interestingly, the Halloween pails that McDonald’s once issued haven’t been offered under the Golden Arches since 2001, and are nowhere to be found in the new marketing strategy that is 365Black, for Halloween can only work in neighborhoods where trust exists, community reigns and kids can have the freedom to roam without fear.

SBPDL is unsure why, given the criteria listed above, that McDonald's ditched the Halloween effort in the age of 365Black...

McDonald’s strategy to go 365Black has once again proven the adage, “Once you go Black, you never go Back,” for Halloween firmly rests in children's minds all year around. The marketing decision to position McDonald’s as an urban eatery, replete with the canonization of Black people year-round, has had the adverse effect of destroying the Halloween-centric Happy Meal.

Though McDonald’s profits might up in the short term, tailoring its marketing campaign to 13 percent of the United States truly has a short-sighted value proposition for potential investors.

Once, McDonald’s marketing gurus found Halloween an important enough Holiday to invest heavily into, but going 365Black has been a business decision that is strangely at odds with this holiday…

Stuff Black People Don’t Like includes McDonald’s celebrating Halloween, for if in the age of 365Black – well, to put it blunt, if Halloween were worth commending, it would be doing so. It is not, and for good reason. McDonald’s past Halloween marketing plans and product roll out (Happy Meal merchandise) were tied directly to an outdated line of thinking: placating Whitopia’s.

All that matters now is celebrating 365Black, and McDonald's is doing just that. Halloween, oddly, doesn’t fit the bill, for that is a Pre-Obama America celebration of a time that no longer exists, and a holiday that has nothing to do with 365Black.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Halloween Week at SBPDL

The response to SBPDL's request for Halloween stories was tremendous (Keep them coming... send them to stuffblackpeople@gmail, or any other correspondence you might have can be addressed there) and we are working overtime to produce prose worthy of the holiday.

Already, we have discussed how ghosts are one of the things that frighten Black people the most (registered mail and dogs come next) and we have also stated the importance of never, EVER providing sudden frights to Black people.

What can be in store for you this week, dear reader, as we prepare to celebrate Halloween in Stuff Black People Don't Like style?

You'll just have to sit back and wait, but we'll have two new posts today (including the first Halloween edition).

And, it is important to note that the decision to discuss Halloween here at SBPDL is no way an endorsement of the occult, but a strong endorsement of the importance of communities that can thus harbor said Halloween activities that are safe, fun and enjoyable for all involved, especially for children.

So, go get a pumpkin and carve it with the family. Throw up some spooky decorations in the front yard and then relax. SBPDL is about to dispense Halloween treats that will make those memories of crappy black and orange candies you got trick or treating disappear forever.

More importantly, the fear of getting cavities from enjoying our treats is non-existent.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

#541. The University of Mississippi Traditions

(Play this song, while you read this entry)

It wasn't that long ago that Heisman Trophy winning (white guy) running back Paul Hornung had this to say about his alma mater Notre Dame and Black people:

"In 1963, at the height of his career as the Green Bay Packers' Golden Boy, Hornung was suspended by the National Football League for gambling on pro football games.

Forty years later, Hornung has suffered another lapse of judgment that can cost his alma mater, Notre Dame, dearly.

During a radio interview in Detroit on Tuesday night, Hornung, frustrated by a losing season at Notre Dame, said that the university needed to lower its academic standards so more black athletes could play there."

Black people might get upset with this comment, since it relies on the usage of Hate Facts, but it doesn't make what Hornung said any less true:
"Paul Hornung knows that Notre Dame has a lot of black players, but he also knows that his alma mater has limited itself to taking black players whose academic records predict an ability to do Notre Dame work. Notre Dame work is a lot tougher than Miami work. According to the average SAT scores of players -- black and white -- Miami is recruiting players -- black and white -- who are below average students. Notre Dame is recruiting black players who are better than average students. Hornung would like to see Notre Dame be a little less picky because he knows that would result in better players -- black and white -- and more wins."
At the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss here on out), another politically incorrect truth haunts the campus like Scrooge's three ghosts and this phantom isn't likely to leave anytime soon: the school's Southern roots:

"In a day when Southerners denigrate their heritage, try to lose their Southern accent, and act embarrassed at our customs, I was proud to see that some semblance of Southern heritage still remains on the campus of Ole Miss.

No question, the political correctness gestapo has done their damage at the University, but I was still touched to see the Confederate monument at the center of campus. The sports programs still calls themselves the Ole Miss Rebels, as seen in the accompanying photo of Vaught-Hemingway Stadium. And the band still plays the old Southern favorite, Dixie."
Before we move forward, it is important to remember the ultimate tool that was used to integrate Black people into the United States is sports. Were it not for college football, Black people would have few outlets for chances of impressing the public in America, as the only time they would appear on television would be in nightly newscasts.

Ole Miss is a school in Mississippi
- a state that still proudly flies the Confederate flag - that is more than 80 percent white. Located in Oxford, a town that is more than 75 percent white, Ole Miss is the epitome of the Southern school. Nowhere on earth does a school exist that exudes the charm, pageantry, glory and tradition as does Ole Miss (well, maybe Morehouse).

Take for instance The Grove, one of the few places on earth that has a direct line to God, where on fall Saturday's the most beautiful girls on the planet (outside of these girls) gather with under-graduates, alumni and family to celebrate the glory of the South, Ole Miss football and, well, life:

"But in Oxford lies, as promised, the most magical place on all of God's green, football-playing Earth: the Grove. A school of red and white and blue tents swimming in a shaded 10-acre forest of oak trees, floating in an ocean of good will and even better manners.

I didn't know the rules at the Grove, rules like: "Don't bother showing up before 4 a.m." Sure, space is at a premium, but for a 6 p.m. game against Memphis? Who would? Apparently everyone, when you consider the masses who actually do arrive promptly at four."

The problem with this paradise isn't the charm, nor the abundance of beautiful people, but the past, which is very much alive at Ole Miss, despite every effort to destroy it by administrators, past football coaches and the politically correct, in an effort to make the campus more palatable to Black people:
"(Former)Head football coach Tommy Tuberville has asked to abandon the Confederate flag for different reasons. He says that the flag-waving makes it difficult for him to recruit African American and white players.

He and others are afraid that the presence of the flag makes for the appearance of a racist environment to outsiders, one that football recruits might prefer to avoid. In the game after his appeal to stop the waving of the flags, confederate flags appeared in the stand with the same frequency as they had the week before."
You see, Ole Miss can't compete in the Southeastern Conference (SEC) without Black people running the football. We at SBPDL aren't sure why white people wouldn't go to Ole Miss because of the flag, for almost 85 percent of the student body is white and they don't seem to mind the flag nor the South.

In a hilarious book, Meat Market, that details the complete collapse of America and why the Chinese and Russians will one day own all of America, a writer followed around a former Ole Miss coach as he tried to recruit Black people to come to Ole Miss on a budget of $800,000 (for recruiting), a school that has the most beautiful white girls on the planet:

"For all the big-time recruits lured to an SEC school like Ole Miss, there are knockout blonds giving them tours of campus in golf carts, coaches trying to decipher their sketchy academic transcripts and a constant battle against negative recruiting."
So, what has Ole Miss done to make the school more attractive to Black people (as opposed to the white girl, Nikole Churchill, who won Ms. Hampton at a Historically Black College and was attacked by Black people for not being Black)?

They have tried to ban waving the Confederate Flag. They have tried to ban the mascot, Colonel Reb:
"But no. The school mascot is a white-bearded old man wearing a wide-brimmed hat and leaning on a cane. His name is Colonel Reb and he looks like nothing less than the very caricature of an old, white plantation owner. He's offensive and the school wants to get rid of him. Saying the figure is outdated and that it wants a more dynamic image, the administration has already banished Colonel Reb from sporting events and is in the process of choosing a replacement."
Now, they are trying to destroy every last vestige of tradition that made Ole Miss the school of Archie and Eli Manning (should have been Peyton Manning's alma mater too), by getting rid of another tradition:
"The University of Mississippi has shortened one of its fight songs to discourage football fans from chanting "the South will rise again" during part of the tune, which critics say is an offensive reminder of the region's intolerant past.

However, some fans have continued to recite the chant at the end of the song, "From Dixie With Love," despite the change made last week at the chancellor's request. The Ole Miss band performs the medley before and after games."

Sophomore Cortez Moss, director of communications for the ASB, said the organization is trying to explain to students why the phrase is offensive.

"You take back on that slave mentality," said Moss, who is black. "I know the South won't rise again and the South can't rise again."

SBPDL doesn't believe the South will rise again, for that is a quixotic venture in fantasy. However, traditions are important, and if Black people find Ole Miss so reprehensible, they should just refuse to go to Ole Miss and deny that school their presence.

Would the football suffer? Look at the Air Force Academy and Brigham Young University on the football field as evidence of how a team full of whites can compete against nearly all-white schools that field nearly all-Black teams (as Ole Miss routinely operates).

The attempted destruction of Ole Miss and her traditions is but a microcosm of the problems that continue to unfold in America and drive home the macro point of view: Black people can get nearly anything they want in America, if they just protest loud enough and long enough.

There is a corollary to this point that must be stated, for it sits in the back of all right thinking Black peoples minds: the South might not rise again, but the day will come, inevitably, when Disingenuous White Liberals and Crusading White Pedagogues no longer have any power in America. What happens then?

Ole Miss is led by these type of people, as is the entire United States for the most part (Mein Obama is 1/2 DWL, thanks to his mom). College football - SBPDL does enjoy the sport - is the only sport that matters in America and having Black people to play at nearly all-white schools, is all that matters, even if they can't read at levels above the second grade. And at Ole Miss, every brick of the past must be removed so that Black people won't be offended and will play football there.

Stuff Black People Don't Like happily introduces The University of Mississippi traditions into the mix, for all white institutions and traditions must be extirpated in the America we currently live in, for listening to Dixie and shouting "The South Will Rise Again" might scare off the pre-requisite Black players necessary to field a competent team in college football. And yet, a quick glance at the 2009 Rebels shows a football squad with an abundance of Black players, despite the purported evil playing of Dixie that drives them away from Oxford.

Hornung said that Notre Dame needs to lower their academic standards - perhaps to Florida State's level? - to have a chance to compete in college football. Ole Miss must remove all images that are heresy to the new regime in charge of America, or feel the wrath of a campus and football team without Black people.

More importantly, white people joining in singing in unison and understanding they have a unique past that binds them together - its called Pre-Obama America - might be all it takes to rekindle pride and finally throw off the shackles of politically correctness for all eternity.

After all, the Estonians proved all a revolution takes is a little signing...