Wednesday, June 3, 2009

#125. Dave Chappelle


Yes. That Dave Chappelle, one of the funniest comedians of the 21st century, is also part of Stuff Black People Don't Like.

His hit television show, The Chappelle Show, was for two seasons the a part of the culture zeitgeist and a phenomenon unlike anything previously seen in the fledgling Comedy Central's programming.

The show gave the talented Dave Chappelle a platform to eviscerate racial stereotypes and showcase the importance of tolerance and an ending to racism and bigotry, through the medium of comedy.

Such skits as The Niggar Family, The Racial Draft, Blind Supremacy - featuring Clayton Bigbsy-, White people's favorite "safe" comedian, Wayne Brady and a myriad of others attracted cult status. Soon, White people began to snicker and actually agree with many of the stereotypes that Chappelle was trying to bring to social awareness. College-age White people were walking around and shouting the catchphrases of Rick James and Lil' John, in the guise of, "I'm Rick James, Bitch," and "What?" and "Okay!" The omnipresence of these phrases began to wear on Black people and fearful that White people would actually start to question the stereotypes and negative images of Blacks that Chappelle displayed in his show as truth, a plan was hatched.

Prominent Black people
decided Chappelle had to be ceremoniously lynched. Al Sharpton, Bill Cosby, Jesse Jackson Robert Franklin and Oprah Winfrey went on the offensive to destroy Chappelle's career and to once and for all stop him from perpetuating negative images of Black people.

Chappelle left the show after two financially lucrative seasons, amidst the filming of season three. The Black Mafia was able to quell the damage done by Chappelle, just in time for the 2008 election.

So a paradox exists. Dave Chappelle is very popular among Blacks, but the dichotomy of poking fun at Black people and having White people not only laugh at Black people, but also reinforce the negative stereotypes was too much. The subject matter of his humor has left prominent Black people firmly on the anti-Chappelle side.




#500. Running out of McNuggets (Reader Submitted idea)


Stuff Black People Don't Like is a new web-zine, dedicated to enlightening not only the United States, but the entire world on Stuff Black People Don't Like. However, due to the enormity of the task, we sometimes require outside help.

One reader suggested a recurring theme in our growing list, as Black people are morbidly afraid of running out of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. Just like #207 and #206, Black people - when confronted with a dearth of their favorite food - are forced to some desparate measures. In the case of McDonald's lack of compacted chicken parts into a delcious nugget of nubian palatal bliss, it requires police inspection.

Latreasa Goodman called the police - three times - in an attempt to regain her money for the lack of McNuggets. Once the cops arrived, Goodman stated:

"This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one... I called 911 because I couldn't get a refund, and I wanted my McNuggets."
The police, nor McDonald's, were amused and Goodman was arrested. Resolute to the end, she said,

"This is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency."

Black people do not like having their daily rations of culinary delights denied and as Stuff Black People Don't Like will continue to address, it is wise try and stave off the wrath of a fast-food deprived Black person.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

#11. George W. Bush



Black people do not like George W. Bush. In reality, Black people do not like the Republican Party and have voted overwhelming for the Democratic Party for many years, but they especially do not like George W. Bush.


To Black people, the man who might be the last White president the United States will ever see, epitomizes racism, ethnocentrism and indeed bigotry - largely due to the perceived delayed reaction in helping their fellow Black people in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005.

The city of New Orleans was 67 percent Black at that time - known as The Chocolate City - and was ravaged by that horrendous hurricane that displaced thousands of Black people to other cities throughout the country.

Hundreds of thousands of Black people stayed behind, ostensibly to guard the city from looters and muggers.


However, the entire nation was horrified at the images that unfolded from, in the words of Mayor Ray Nagin:

"I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day...This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be."
Black people do like God, and they were horrified at idea that White people were entertaining - that the Black people who failed to leave the city when a Category 5 hurricane was coming would resort to looting, pillaging, raping and killing in its aftermath. Black people don't do that you see, and if they do, it would all be the fault of one man. George W. Bush.

You see, Black people are law abiding citizens, and anything that runs contrary to this view is the fault of George W. Bush. The man who stole the 2000 election from Al Gore and disenfranchised Black voters in Florida was the main cause of all Black misery in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina.

A rap group, Legendary KO, came out with a song entitled "George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People," with the lyrics:

"George Bush ain't a gold digger, but he ain't messin with no broke niggas...come down, Bush, come on, come down"
Accepting the invitation, George. W. Bush, a person so universally despised by Black people that they voted nearly 95 - 99 percent in every state for the Democrat Barack Hussein Obama in the 2008 election, had this to say in New Orleans just three weeks after Katrina:

"The greatest hardship fell upon citizens already facing lives of struggle: the elderly, the vulnerable and the poor...And this poverty has roots in generations of segregation and discrimination that closed many doors of opportunity. As we clear away the debris of a hurricane, let us also clear away the legacy of inequality."
Stuff Black People Don't Like will always include George W. Bush, regardless of accepting Legendary KO's invitation to come to New Orleans, and promises of helping Black people rise from the waters left behind from Katrina and dry off.

Monday, June 1, 2009

#99. Blind People in Seattle


Stuff Black People Don't Like strives to educate the public about the things that perturb Black people. A startling new addition requires a bit of background, before commencing with the meat of the story.

Seattle, Washington
is primarily known for three things: Dr. Frasier Crane, the movie Sleepless in Seattle and Starbucks Coffee. Seattle is also home to one of the largest white populations in a big city, with more than 75 percent of its inhabitants being classified as white, compared to only 10 percent being Black.

Recently, a Black person was minding his own business aboard a King County Metro Bus, when his hand suddenly and violently came into contact with a blind, white woman's face. Could this have been retaliation for Rosa Parks and the Montgomery Bus policy that made Blacks sit in the back of the bus? Was he - the black person - merely trying to swat a fly away from the blind, white woman's face?

Or, is this another example of Stuff Black People Don't Like?

One news story reports:

Witnesses say he yelled "The sick must die" and proceeded to punch the blind woman...Several passengers from the back of the bus ran to the front of the bus. One of them can be seen holding back the suspect as he tried to punch the woman. As he was being detained, he yelled "You don't know what you are doing...The suspect was arrested for the assault but due to his apparent diminished mental capacity, he was never charged. He was, instead, sent to Western State Hospital where he remains today.
It is obvious that this person did not entertain the idea that Dr. Crane imparted on all his listeners, as at the end of his radio show he would wish Seattle, "Good mental health."