This website will serve to educate the general public on Black people and the Stuff That Black People Don't Like. Black people have many interesting eccentricities, which include disliking a litany of everyday events, places, household objects and other aspects of their everyday life.
Black people are an interesting subject matter and this website will chronicle the many problems in life that agitate this group of people.
To suggest material, please contact sbpdl1@gmail.com
We'll be posting tonight. Have to dig out of an amazing blizzard that brought an early "White Christmas" to the eastern portion of the United States.
Hope everyone reading is safe and warm. We'll continue with our 12 Days of Christmas, SBPDL style tonight, and introduce a new entry into the official SBPDL list.
In the meantime, enjoy the wintry weather with your family and friends.
Volunteer and help dig a neighbor's car out of the snow, and then when you come back in to warm yourself by the fire, prepare for new entries to be uploaded at Stuff Black People Don't Like. You supply the hot chocolate, we'll supply the SBPDL.
For nearly six months we at SBPDL have been chronicling Stuff Black People Don't Like, and in the process left some people incapable of discerning what the true endgame of the site is and more importantly, why have embarked and such a seemingly Quixotic quest.
One of those reasons is simple: We have been searching for the ultimate manifestation of SBPDL and we have finally found an individual who encompasses the characteristics required for inclusion in the SBPDL Hall of Fame.
"Guns, drugs, prostitutes and an endless stream of expletives filled the rap lyrics — and the life — of Raymond Martinez, the Times Square gunman who shot off two rounds from his MAC 10 before an NYPD officer took him down late Thursday morning.
When he wasn’t running CD scams on tourists in Times Square, the 25-year-old Bronx native — rap name “Ready” — was likely hanging with his buddies, drinking, smoking pot and laying down tracks, according to his friends.
“I’ll break your legs, have your brains looking like eggs,” Martinez raps in one song."
“Square Free” has a MySpace page with several images of their front man, Martinez. In a chilling harbinger of things to come, one image was digitally altered to make it look like Martinez was standing in the blood-spattered entryway of his apartment building with a machine gun lying at his feet.
Another picture shows him smoking what appears to be marijuana and a third is a cartoonish depiction of a man carrying a huge gun with a caption reading “THEM SUCKERS AINT TAKIN ME NO WHERE…”
It will be a difficult feat to duplicate the stupendous success that this Black gentlemen managed in his short-life, for he is one of the finest representations of SBPDL to ever grace the United States, as his esteemed presence is testament to the importance of this website.
How about some more background on this strange story out of New York City:
"Raymond Martinez was running a common scam on the throngs of holiday tourists in Times Square, pushing shoppers to buy his CDs, police said. But Martinez was no ordinary peddler, they said: He was carrying a loaded pistol and had a handful of business cards from gun dealers in his pockets.
The 25-year-old was shot to death by a plainclothes police sergeant Thursday after trading gunfire in the taxi area of the landmark Marriott Marquis hotel.
Sgt. Christopher Newsom operates a task force that monitors aggressive panhandling and was patrolling with an anti-crime unit when he recognized Martinez and his brother from past run-ins. He asked the two for their tax stamps, which allow peddlers to sell on the streets. But Martinez took off running, through to the hotel's passenger drop-off area.
Newsom pursued, and Martinez turned and fired with a machine pistol that held 30 rounds, getting off two shots before it jammed, police said. The officer fired four times, striking Martinez in the chest and arms and killing him, police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said.
"We're lucky the weapon jammed," Kelly said."
Lucky his weapon jammed? Don't these people know that SBPDL includes gun safety! And worse, this whole incident could have been avoided had Mr. Martinez just cooperated with the police!
Apparently, Mr. Martinez didn't find the rap song "F*** tha Police" a merely fictitious diddy, for he prepared to engage the police in a scene worthy of the OK Corral:
"NYPD Sergeant Christopher Newsom, a 17-year veteran of the force, shot and killed Martinez in front of the Marriot Marquis after the street vendor ran from him and fired two rounds before his gun jammed, the New York Times reported.
Martinez, who rapped under the alias "Ready," held the gun sideways and parallel to the ground, a style popular in rap videos, and that caused it to "stovepipe," or jam, according to the New York Post.
There were 27 rounds left in the gun."
Interestingly, Mr. Martinez was a devout fan of Myspace (page here), and found Facebook less desirable.
Better than that though, is Mr. Martinez disgust at rap music going soft, for he was an aspiring spinner of words into rhythmically enhanced verbiage:
"An up-and-coming rapper by the name of Ready had a brush with fame before his life was taken last Thursday in NYC's Times Square. In 2008, Ready (born Raymond Martinez) squared off with Grammy Award-winning rapper/producer Kanye West during an episode of MTV’s “Hood Fab.”
Ready pulled out a last-minute victory during his “Hood Fab” challenge with Ye and received a package of tube socks and a Footlocker gift certificate."
Mr. Martinez (or Mr. Ready) found the wonderfully gifted Kanye West, to be a chump in the annals of real-life gangsta rap star, for he lived a full life and died a true to his roots (a video of Kanye and Mr. Ready can be found here).
Will this incident become yet another Sean Bell ordeal? Or will the melancholy ending of Mr. Ready's life become yet another wasted soul in the endless parade of Stuff Black People Don't Like?
Only time will tell... and only SBPDL will report.
Rest In Peace, Mr. Ready. You lived a life true to SBPDL principles and for that, you will never be forgotten.
Christmas is the time of year where family gather together to remember the past, celebrate cherished memories and reminisce upon kin long since gone, but not forgotten.
Black people, though more than 70 percent are born out of wedlock, love Christmas. As we learned in our article on gay marriage, Black people are deeply religious and find the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ one of the most important days in the year.
One of the best ways to foster conversation around the Christmas tree among family is to bring up the last cultural unifier in America: movies. Neither regionalism nor rural area can escape the all-mighty reach of Hollywood and the power of cinema to shape national attitudes and mores is unquestioned.
Christmas makes a perfect backdrop for Hollywood to create magic that the entire family can enjoy, year end and year out. Family films that depict the glories of Christmas in contemporary settings and of Christmas’ long, long ago have the edifying power of binding the generations present in ways that no amount of egg nog can.
Already, we have discussed one film – Holiday Inn – that Black people find despicable, due to one of the most offensive Black-face scenes in Hollywood history. That particular film introduced the world to the glorious song, “White Christmas”, and stars the incomparable Bing Crosby.
However, three Christmas films are constantly found viewed by families around the holiday, as they represent the Holy Triumvirate of Christmas films. And yet, these films – cherished by all who view them – leave Black people in a disquieting sense of alienation from the United States, for they were all made in Pre-Obama America and all have the common denominator of having absolutely no Black people of significance in them.
In fact, when watching these films, one gets the sense that the song White Christmas is redundant and the holiday is not only blanketed in a climate of continuous snow, but a blizzard of whiteness.
Those films that comprise the Holy Triumvirate are “It’s a Wonderful Life”, “A Christmas Story” and “Christmas Vacation”, and all have the similarity of being about white people (and families) celebrating Christmas in unique ways and all in different decades (1940, 1950 and the 1980s respectively) that has the calming effect of reassuring white America that a strong homogeneous nation once existed and its genesis was The Greatest Generation.
Black people view these films with a brooding sense of incredulity, for these films callously disregard Black people and their many contributions to American life.
Take “It’s a Wonderful Life” for example. The lone Black character in the film is a maid/cook of the Bailey’s, the films protagonists and the virtuous saviors of Bedford Falls. How can a family that helps the little people of Bedford Falls have the audacity to have a Black person – a virtual slave – and still be well liked by the town? What’s the film all about?:
The film takes place in the fictional town of Bedford Falls shortly after World War II and stars James Stewart as George Bailey, a man whose imminent suicide on Christmas Eve gains the attention of his guardian angel, Clarence Odbody (Henry Travers) who is sent to help him in his hour of need. Much of the film is told through flashbacks spanning George's entire life and narrated by Franklin and Joseph, unseen Angels who are preparing Clarence for his mission to save George.
Through these flashbacks we see all the people whose lives have been touched by George and the difference he has made to the community in which he lives.”
George Bailey is a fine example of the All-American white guy and to see a movie that is watched yearly by millions of people portray a pale-face in such a glowing manner is too much for Black people to take.
Watching the film is like looking at a portrait or photograph of a long-dead family member you never knew, for the movie shows a United States that no longer exists and yet, “It’s a Wonderful Life” has the eerie ability to pull you into this picturesque town and never let you go. Black people sense this as well, and realize they don’t quite belong in Bedford Falls.
In the second Christmas classic, “A Christmas Story”, the city of Cleveland plays host to the tale of boy in search of the ultimate toy: a Red-Ryder BB Gun and the anticipation of Christmas’ arrival:
“The film is set in the fictional city of Hohman (based on real-life city of Hammond, Indiana). 9-year-old Ralphie Parker wants only one thing for Christmas: "an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time." Between run-ins with his younger brother Randy and having to handle school bully Scut Farkus, and his sidekick Grover Dill, Ralphie does not know how he will ever survive long enough to get the BB gun for Christmas.
The plot revolves around Ralphie's overcoming a seemingly insurmountable obstacle to his owning the precious Red Ryder BB gun: the fear that he will shoot his eye out. In each of the film's three acts, Ralphie makes his case to another individual; each time he is met by the same retort. When Ralphie asks his mother for a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas, she says, "No, you'll shoot your eye out." Next, when Ralphie writes a theme about wanting the BB gun for Miss Shields, his teacher at Warren G. Harding Elementary School, Ralphie gets a C+, and Miss Shields writes "P.S. You'll shoot your eye out" on it. Finally, Ralphie asks an obnoxious department store Santa Claus for a Red Ryder BB gun, and Santa responds, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid. Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho!", before pushing Ralphie down a long slide with his boot.”
In this film, unlike “It’s a Wonderful Life”, nary a Black person has a speaking part. There is a Black child in Ralphie’s class, but he fails to garner a speaking credit and instead looks on in horror at Flick’s taking up the dreaded Triple-Dog dare and getting his tongue stuck to a flag pole.
“A Christmas Story” is more bleached than even “It’s a Wonderful Life” and worse, TBS plays the film for 24-hours straight on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, which has the undeniably crippling effect of harming young Black people’s self-esteem, for they are but an afterthought in a film that showcases the overwhelming whiteness of American history.
“Christmas Vacation” is a film produced by Black people’s least favorite director, John Hughes, and paints a rather boring picture of Mein Obama’s adopted hometown of Chicago for its unbearable and overpowering whiteness. Thankfully, a Black person is given a semi-power of authority, this time in the guise of a police chief at the end of film. Otherwise though, Black people are conspicuously absent from this hilarious Yule-tide comedy, that stars Chevy Chase in all his campy glory:
“The movie begins with Clark taking his family on the search for a perfect Christmas tree. After aggravating nearby motorists, getting stuck under a big rig, and walking in the woods for a long time, Clark finally finds said tree. (He digs the tree out himself because he forgot the saw.) Clark breaks several windows and gets covered in tree sap setting it up, as it barely fits in the yard, let alone the living room.
While shopping for gifts at a downtown Chicago department store, Clark meets a saleswoman named Mary (Nicolette Scorsese). He makes a series of Freudian slips to her on their first encounter, and later fantasizes about her skinny-dipping in his future pool (interrupted by his cousin in law's daughter).
Clark has been working on a project at his firm which he expects will bring in a good Christmas bonus. Clark plans to use the bonus to put in a swimming pool, which he has already laid down a $7,500 deposit on.
As Christmas approaches, the many members of Clark's extended family begin arriving to stay with him. Clark's and Ellen's parents are the first to arrive. This drives him to go set up the lighting on the house with his son Rusty. He covers nearly every inch of the home's exterior and yard with lights (according to Clark himself, a grand total of 25,000 Christmas lights). Clark becomes very frustrated after many attempts to get the lights working. Unknown to him, the electricity wasn't on to begin with. When Ellen heads to the back store room to get something, she clicks a light switch, lighting the house (and causing the power plant to switch to nuclear generators for backup power), and blinding their unfriendly yuppie neighbors. After the lights are up and running, Ellen's cousin-in-law and cousin, Eddie and Catherine, along with their children show up to stay with him for a month, with their dilapidated, rusty RV parked in the driveway the whole time.”
All three films are constantly shown on television around Christmas and all three films reinforce an ugly historical fact to Black people in the United States: like in the film “It’s a Wonderful Life”, Black people get to see a world in which they have no real power in the country and in some cases, how the country operated if they weren't even apart of it or born.
When young Black people watch these films, they are forced to ponder this unfortunate reality, for the Holy Triumvirate of Christmas movies chronicle celluloid worlds where Black people don’t exist in any significant roles.
Black people aren't even mentioned at all in these films, as the white people in all three movies seem blissfully ignorant of their even existence.
Stuff Black People Don't Like includes the Holy Triumvirate of Christmas movies, for all three films are awash in whiteness and lack any color or divine Black presence. These films are part of the imperialistic and racist white America of old, and every Christmas, Black people are forced to remember that nation and white people are once again reminded of the nation that is lost to them forever, yet immortalized in three grand old films.
The films take place a total of 90 years apart and showcase white people in the 20th century and yet, like an old family portrait of family members never met, these films have the unnerving power of acting as a fine eulogy for white America.
Christmas in the United States is a magical time of shopping, wrapping gifts, putting up a Christmas tree and decorating the house with lights in a duel with your neighbors to create the most festive and maddening display of yule tide expression.
It is a holiday that's increasingly secular, with an emphasis on asserting the validity behind the legend of Santa Clause and perpetuating this important myth to teach children the power of imagination and belief in a legend steeped in the greatness of altruism:
Sadly, not everyone gets to celebrate Christmas and enjoy the fruits of Santa's elves labor on the 25th. For there exists a continent so unspeakably brutal and nightmarish that the birthday of the son of God himself can't bring peace, harmony and joy to it: Africa.
Or so one is inclined to believe when they listen to the hauntingly incontinent song, "Do They Know It's Christmas?", a song that brings together the top mid-1980s British rockers to croon in harmony about the endless insanity of life in Africa and the importance of the West to do something about it:
"Do They Know It's Christmas?" is a song written by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure in 1984 to raise money for relief of 1984–1985 famine in Ethiopia. The original version was produced by Midge Ure and released by Band Aid on 29 November 1984.
In late 1984, a BBC report by Michael Buerk was aired highlighting the famine that had hit the people of Ethiopia. Irish singer Bob Geldof saw the report and wanted to raise money. He called Midge Ure from Ultravox and together they quickly co-wrote the song, "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
Only one of Ure's Ultravox colleagues, Chris Cross, attended. Geldof, noticing Boy George's non-attendance (despite ringing him up in New York the day before demanding he sing on the record), went back to the phone to get the Culture Club frontman out of bed and on to Concorde."
Sting, Bono and Boy George (when he wasn't cruising London bathrooms for conjugal visits), George Michael and the rest of England's only remaining export (pop music) gathered in one venue to extol the virtues of altruism and bringing light to the dark continent in the form of a whimsical rock song are the primary ingredients for a hit song:
"The 1984 original became the biggest selling single in UK singles chart history, selling a million copies in the first week alone. It stayed at Number 1 for five weeks and ultimately sold more than 3.5 million copies domestically.
"Do They Know It's Christmas?", is the ultimate Disingenuous White Liberal Christmas song and bespeaks an attitude of smug apathy to a world that most white people would gladly send a check to help as long as they never have to view the unpleasant mess that Darwin would have difficulty explaining. Let's take a look at the lyrics of this Christmas classic:
Paul Young It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid At christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade
Boy George And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy! Throw your arms around the world at christmas time
(Phil Collins on the drums)
George Micheal But say a prayer - pray for the other ones At christmas time
Simon Le Bon it's hard, but when you're having fun There's a world outside your window
Sting and Simon Le Bon And it's a world of dreaded fear Where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears And the christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom
Bono Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
And there won't be snow in Africa this christmas time The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows No rain or rivers flow
Do they know it's christmas time at all?
Here's to you Raise your glass for everyone Here's to them Underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's christmas time at all?
Feed the world Feed the world Feed the world Let them know it's christmas time and Feed the world Let them know it's christmas time and Feed the world Let them know it's christmas time and Feed the world Let them know it's christmas time and Feed the world Let them know it's christmas time and Feed the world Let them know it's christmas time I hope you like this song even though its not christmas!
Saving Black people is the cause célèbre of all enlightened white people across the world, and if only this song were taken to heart by all the melanin-slighted individuals in the West, Africa would no longer be the land where the "only water flowing, is a bitter sting of tears."
Black people in the West listen to this Christmas song and gag, for only disingenuous white liberals would dare put pen to paper and create a song of this nature, then enlist the help of vapid celebrities to sing about Africa, a land "where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow."
JUST WHEN IT SEEMED that Western images of Africa could not get any weirder, the July 2007 special Africa issue of Vanity Fair was published, complete with a feature article on "Madonna's Malawi." At the same time, the memoirs of an African child soldier are on sale at your local Starbucks, and celebrity activist Bob Geldof is touring Africa yet again, followed by TV cameras, to document that "War, Famine, Plague & Death are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and these days they're riding hard through the back roads of Africa."
It's a dark and scary picture of a helpless, backward continent that's being offered up to TV watchers and coffee drinkers. But in fact, the real Africa is quite a bit different. And the problem with all this Western stereotyping is that it manages to snatch defeat from the jaws of some current victories, fueling support for patronizing Western policies designed to rescue the allegedly helpless African people while often discouraging those policies that might actually help.
The real Africa needs increased trade from the West more than it needs more aid handouts. A respected Ugandan journalist, Andrew Mwenda, made this point at a recent African conference despite the fact that the world's most famous celebrity activist — Bono — was attempting to shout him down. Mwenda was suffering from too much reality for Bono's taste: "What man or nation has ever become rich by holding out a begging bowl?" asked Mwenda.
Do they know it's Christmas time at all? What a perplexing question to be asked by pompous white pop-rock talent, for the world as we know it originated in Africa! More important, Black people in America listen to this song and cringe, for Black people instinctively believe anytime white people speak of Africa they automatically are speaking in a dichotomous derogatory/enlightened sense.
The cover of the single speaks volumes as to how white people view Blacks, for it features white, well-dressed families enjoying Christmas, while two sickly Black people appear in the middle sans clothes, parents and hope.
Stuff Black People Don't Like includes "Do They Know It's Christmas?", a song that eloquently describes how Disingenuous White Liberals view the world. Beautifully harmonized by pop-rocks top talent, Black people have the honor of being serenaded by white people bent on "throwing their arms around the world at Christmas time."
