Sunday, January 17, 2010

Pants on the Ground?

Thanks to American Idol, Stuff Black People Don't Like continues to show off our prescient ability at preparing the nation for the next cultural phenomenon that takes the country by storm.

Remember, we discussed Black people's complete disgust at the prospect of belts almost three months ago, and now, thanks to American Idol, people everywhere got to see Black people in Atlanta at their finest:

"Pants. On. The. Ground.

With those four words, "General" Larry Platt has gone from "American Idol" reject to Internet sensation.

The 63-year-old civil rights veteran performed his original hit at an audition for the show's ninth season, winning over judges Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi — and earning a nervous endorsement from incurable skeptic Simon Cowell.

For Platt, the song was just another one of his causes. He said Thursday that he and his civil rights colleagues sacrificed too much for today's youth to walk around with sagging pants.

“Everybody in America’s singing my song, ‘Pants on the Ground.’ I made that song up, years ago,” he told Access Hollywood's Billy Bush, adding that the song has a simple message.

“It’s about these kids and grown folk walking around with their pants down,” he said. “Get these pants up!”

Platt — his black jeans securely fastened — proudly showed off black and white photographs of himself alongside civil rights icons Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and Congressman John Lewis, and pointed to plaques from city and state officials recognizing his social justice work as a dedicated foot soldier with the Southern Christian Leadership Conference and Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee."

Here are the lyrics to this song Black people don't like (for it attacks Black people primarily, and perhaps the actors in Jersey Shore):
Pants on the ground pants on the ground Lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground with the gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground, call yourself a cool cat lookin' like a fool Walking downtown with your pants on the ground Get it up! Hey, get your pants off the ground! Lookin' like a fool, Walkin, talkin' with ya pants on the ground Get it up! Hey, get your pants off the ground! Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground Gold in the mouth, hat turned sideways pants hit the ground, call yourself a cool cat, lookin' like a fool, walkin, talkin with ya pants on the ground Boom, yea pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground! with ya gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways pants hit the ground, call yourself a cool cat...
Gold teeth? Black people acting a fool' and living up to stereotypes of 'pants on the ground'? Say it ain't so General!
Stuff Black People Don't Like applauds the efforts of Larry Platt, for his song hits close to Black people's home everywhere - for you do look like a fool with your pants on the ground.

And only in America could an idol be someone who sings about the obvious shortcomings of Black society and not be taken seriously, but become a star.


Anonymous said...

There is a comical, but also a melancholic tone to this weblog that I enjoy. For those who need a dose of sweet melancholy I refer you to the Shorpy's Historic photo archive ( There, on today's front page you can see a heartbreaking photo of young teens, from 1904, in Central Park NY leading other young kids on a donkey ride. So wonderful, so naive, those days. Also, a really neat photo of a Femme Fatale, 1914. Notice youthful thinness and real fur on this beauty. The men interviewing her seemed thinner, and in some way I can't quite specify, better-looking than today's men.

Anonymous said...

Under the wise guise of irony, which generally bypasses the humorless thug culture, "Pants on the Ground" is a glorious middle finger-point identifying short-term wealth planning, mouth breathing, duck-faced losers who contribute either little or next to nothing within a civil society.

Adults who still dress like toddlers deserve every bit of ridicule that is available.

That's right, I said it.

Jenn said...

Brett Farve did this song after the Vikings crushed my Boys today. (WHYYYYYY!?!?!) Which makes me wonder - are they laughing with us or at us?

Anonymous said...

I have heard the pants on the ground thing began with the "just returned home" look of excons whose prison issued jeans had no belts, and were usually larger than necessary.