Sunday, June 28, 2009

#190. Michael Jackson (The White Version)

The world of popular culture has been shattered this week, with the news of the death of Michael Jackson tearing down one of the main pillars of pop iconography. The reclusive, somewhat bizarre Jackson endeared himself to millions of adoring fans worldwide and his death has left a permanent void within each of their pop culture-worshiping hearts.

An entire industry is now devoid of its largest source of revenue, as fears of tabloid magazines stopping publication run rampant. No more stories of failed plastic surgery; noses falling off; babies being held over the edge of a balcony; purported pederast-esque behavior; or horrible stories of bleaching of his epidermis to appear white.

No, the King of Pop Michael Jackson has beat it and will no longer grace the television sets of millions and the grocery store aisle news magazine covers with his enigmatic life.

White people and Black people - members of every race on the planet - loved Michael Jackson during the 1980s, when the singer was pumping out hit after hit and inventing dance moves that invaded the vernacular faster than any singer before, or after.

Michael Jackson was a Black person by birth, but decided for reasons psychiatrists will debate for all eternity, decided he wanted to be white. He married the daughter of the former King of Pop, Elvis - the man whom he usurped that moniker from - in hopes of merging the two family dynasties into one entertainment conglomerate. That marriage ended in tragedy - divorce.

Over the years, Michael Jackson developed a strange ailment, rumored to be Vitiligo. Normally, this disease turns the pristine ebony skin into a veritable patch field of light blotchy pigments. Jackson, however, developed perfect ivory skin and some would argue Jackson took the message of his hit song with Paul McCartney literally...

Black people however, began to dislike Michael Jackson when he decided he would rather be a White person. Black people do not like any Black person "acting white" and to have the King of Pop decided not to "act white", but try and have the outward appearance of white person is the ultimate unforgivable sin in the Black community.

Michael Jackson had died, and the Black community is embracing the artist that was formerly Michael Jackson, yet distancing themselves from the strange white exterior that he came to show.

He was the first Black person to get a music video aired on MTV, a station that now seems to focus primarily on Black people hoping to replicate the success of BET. At the end of his life though, it was hard to imagine Michael Jackson was a Black person and on that same channel that once played his color-barrier breaking video, his image was hauntingly white.

A new field of whiteness studies could and should be created to study the interesting life of Michael Jackson, the man who Black people loved in the 1980s, found odd and strange in the 1990s and 2000s and now have had the 1980ssfaith in him restored, solely through his untimely passing. Stuff Black People Don't Like will always include the White version of Michael Jackson, for in the eyes of Black people he did the truly unthinkable: he didn't just "act white"; he tried to become white.


A. Kari said...

This is dumb. Get your facts straight. He did have the skin disease, and he bleached his skin to make it even, rather than have blotches.
And he always said he was proud to be black. He said it several times. PLUS his music stayed black. And YOU CANNOT bleach your skin like that, no way. You can get it half a shade lighter, or even a shade lighter, but not ivory white like him. He was brown-skinned originally. And as for the nose-jobs...dude did have some issues, but not racial ones. Stop listening white people saying he wanted to be one of them. Fuck that.
You should respect a man who did not act white(what the hell does that mean anyway?) but represented us well. Make a blog about idiot Kanye West or Lil Wayne. Leave Michael the fuck alone. Some nerve you have, dissing the biggest selling black artist of all time, with the biggest selling ALBUM of all time! Hater.

jalitamoore said...


wrong on so many different levels.

first of all, any real black person would know that there is no such thing as a "white michael jackson"
"i like in the mirror, i know im black"
-michael jackson

secondly, it was proven in his autopsy report that he did indeed suffer from the skin disease.

thirdly, speak for yourself when you said black's stop liking michael jackson because that sho wasn't the case for the majority of us.

i hate it when people say we are "re-embracing" him, when we're prolly the only race tht really stood by him.

It was black people that were jammin to his song "you rock my world" and "butterflies" in 2001

it was mainly black people who were saying he was innocent in 2004/2005

it was BET who banned eminem's song "just lose it" because it was disrespecting mj back in 2004

when i ever heard about michael jackson on tv before he died, it was always on a black channel.
like bet's top 100 black power moves
or bets top 25 best dancers
and then there BLACK to the future on VH1 , but it was still black oriented.

so get your facts straight!

also what i find HALARIOUS is the fact that you contradict yourself by having a recent picture of mj on the cover of BLACK MAGAZINE, and your calling him white...what a loser!

Kalena said...

And what I find ridiculous/hilarious is that people defend him so didn't know him! He was a good musician for sure, but setting your eyes and faith upon someone and exalting him is so stupid.

To all the hater commenters-this is a funny, satirical blog. Get over yourselves.

Anonymous said...

kalena said:....and what i find ridiculous is how ignorant and simple minded you are.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

anonymous:you need help dude. check out my blog and read the whole thing and watch all the videos, I dare you.

Anonymous said...

witness of a woman
Michael was widely more beautiful and successful when he had a black skin .
But he stayed a black man even in his mind until his death .

Anonymous said...

Just plse stop, this post really got me upset. It is really sad when someone basis and judges a person on their skin color, what difference does it make? he was a wonderful human just stop this. I have black family members and I am white...thank-god they do not judge me based on my skin color and I don't judge them, it is the heart that matters. We are all human beings.