Monday, November 2, 2009

#715. Barack Obama Halloween Costumes

The 2009 edition of Halloween went off with few hitches, save for the potential cavity down the road from an over abundance of candy consumption.

Apparently white people got the memorandum that was floating around the water-cooler, for this year few dared to dress as others have at Halloween Fraternity Parties in the past.

For in 2008, word was beginning to spread that Mein Obama himself, General "Barack" Zod would soon be voted in as the President of United States. A darkness befell Halloween unlike never before, as candidate Obama's mask was outselling that of rival for the presidential throne, Sen. John McCain:
"Supporters of either candidate can buy rubber masks of each to wear for Halloween. So far, 57 percent of the masks Amazon has sold have been Obama masks, versus 43 percent for McCain masks."
Unlike the four horsemen of surfing and bank heist perfection from Point Break, the Obama mask was not purchased for jest, but for adulation and idolatry. In fact, Mein Obama has been the subject of an untold number of items that display his likeness in a manner befitting a King:

"His image is on everything, and his name is inscribed in everything from hats to fine china to music.

Never mind the recession. The business of Obama is booming, CBS News business correspondent Anthony Mason reports.

"We even sell an Obama dollar bill now that has his picture on it for $10. So even his money's more valuable," said Jim Warlick, owner of the Washington, D.C., store Political Americana.

By some estimates, the Obama industry is worth at least a quarter of a billion dollars.

QVC expects 200,000 customers will have purchased Obama items by the end of Inauguration Day.

"This is our button room where we've produced 10 million buttons over the past two years," said Steve Swallow, CEO of Tiger Eye Design.

In Greensville, Ohio, Tiger Eye Design makes more than 1,000 different Obama buttons.

"This is the largest effect that any candidate has ever had," Swallow said.

The button room there operates around the clock, seven days a week. Two years ago, Tiger Eye was a $2 million a year company. Today, in the era of Mr. Obama, they do more than 10 times that in business.

"We've gone from 20 full time employees to over 60," Swallow said."
And yet, whereas Patrick Swayze and friends donned the presidential masks of past white men who occupied the Oval Office in Point Break, once Obama stepped into the White House the days of poking fun at the president (or at least Mein Obama) were over. Remember, Black people don't like jokes at their expense.

To offend Mein Obama, as we are all certainly aware by now, is to violate one of the new Protocols of the Learned Elders of Hyde Park, and thus punishable by excommunication from the paradise on earth that is 2009 America:
"Dressing as your favorite presidential nominee for Halloween could be socially risky this year if you're white and don't want to spend $20 for a mask.

No problem if you're a John McCain supporter: Wrinkles and white hair will do the trick.

But if Barack Obama's your man, do you darken your face to resemble his African-American skin tone?

"It's uncharted territory that we're in," said state Sen. Ray Miller, a Democrat from Columbus and one of several black leaders who commented on the subject. "We've made a lot of progress in America on the issue of race relations, and we need to be careful not to move backwards. Something like painting your face I would discourage."

Saturday Night Live was criticized in February when white comedian Fred Armisen was chosen to impersonate Obama on the television show. Armisen wears dark makeup when he's playing the Democrat, who is the first black presidential nominee for a major party, reminding some people of the negative connotations of blackface.

The Costume Specialists store in the Town and Country shopping center has had a few people come in looking for makeup to pose as Obama, manager Kathy Hyland said.

"I don't get the feeling they're trying to mock him or disparage him in any way, shape or form. A lot of times, they're going with a whole group in political costumes and one person has to be Obama," she said.
It is not yet officially a rule or law, but in the near future merely making a joke about Black people in America will be deemed grounds for immediate extermination. The reality of the United States' collapse is so painfully evident now, and the extent to which this ailment has spread is now irreparable, so the only way to keep peace is will be to codify any mentioning of Hate Facts as an unlawful offense and a deafening form of tyranny will overtake the land.

A new religion has replaced Christianity in America as the leading source of faith and spiritual guidance for the citizens of the nation, and those who practice this growing belief live in a world where reason and logic is all but dead: Black people are the embodiment of God, and to deny this is to partake in a cardinal sin for which their is no indulgence.

And like any God or religion, massive amounts of money is to be made by those who peddle the wares of products that feature the visage of Mein Obama:
"Despite a stagnant economy and a presidential campaign that set new fundraising records, many political junkies still have money to burn. Luckily, savvy entrepreneurs found a solution for that: put Barack Obama on anything and sell it. Here are the most ridiculous items Obama is selling right now (click on the link above view the products)."
Paradoxically, this year, more Barack Obama Halloween costumes were available:
"Rendering the President into a brain-eating zombie and blood-sucking vampire, the Zombama and Barakula masks will be huge hits this season. As Random Good Stuff comments, “Evil Obama wants your healthcare blood.”
Halloween is a time to dress up so we can live vicariously through our heroes, whether they be ghosts, goblins, superheroes or Barack Obama. However, Stuff Black People Don't Like includes Barack Obama Halloween costumes, for just as Obama depicted as the Joker knocked him off his throne a notch, having people dress as Mein Obama at the same time people dress as Teletubbies and Power Rangers is too demeaning to take.

Obama is more than just a Saturday morning cartoon, and associating this great man with cartoon characters will continue to add to his monumental collapse in the eyes of the nation.

The great hope though, is that a Point Break II can be made with a Barack Obama masked character leading the charge in stealing money from banks and robbing people. Wait... that might be racist too.


Anonymous said...

"Protocols of the Learned Elders of Hyde Park"

HAHAHA! Seriously though, isn't dressing up as G-d some sort of twisted blasphemy?


r4i said...

I like this article but..
Can someone tell me about Barack Obama..
I know that he is a serious candidate for '08, but I would like to know where he stands on the issues. I checked his site but nowhere can I find the info. i am looking for.
so please tell me...