Thursday, June 17, 2010

One Commercial Explains Black Run America

Without sports, Black Run America (BRA) wouldn't exist. With sports, BRA rules without opposition.

This recent commercial for Gatorade - a re-hydration beverage curiously invented by white people - explains the fascination with sports Americans have, and why BRA dominates life today. Notice that prior to Black peoples participation in organized, professional sports, this commercial for Gatorade makes the case that athletics were without quality.

Only with the advent of Black domination of sports could a revolution occur, and with it, the genesis of BRA.

Of course, most whites are just Big Fans now, completely transfixed in the awesomeness of BRA's athletic exploits, captivated by the feats of athletes and willfully blind to the reality of non-professional Black people.


Anonymous said...

Good Lord. I'll never buy Gatorade again. I think they slipped in that quick shot of Peyton Manning at the end to avoid looking completely racist.

The idea that sports are an area in which people show their personal and moral superiority is an ancient one from the English upper classes, imported to America in college sports and picked up by Catholic schools in cultural competition. Well before black people participated it was well established in the minds of whites that being good at sports marked you as a better human being; so when blacks started participating they were completely helpless.

Anonymous said...

makes me sick, its not even because I dislike black people. Its because the powers that be are pretty blatantly trying to shove some hackneyed agenda down everyone's throat. I hate feeling like i am being manipulated. fuck TPTB, fuck the MSM, and fuck BRA.

Hirsch said...

This Gatorade commercial reminds me of this old David Cross bit...

Steve said...

Yup it all changed in 65 or was it 64 with the Snivel rights Act that brought us to BRA?

Steve said...

To Hirsch; LOL man that's so true, right on the money!

Anonymous said...


Does this "typical" Alvin Green supporter represent BRA or something else.

Also your body needs only water not Gatorade, but good luck anyway with your boycott.

-Black guy

CWN said...

This type of commercial proves a point or two.

Some whites, like those running Gatorade, will kiss black ass. Just put the lipstick on, red lipstick, and kiss black ass till that ass turns red from the lipstick. Gatorade flavored lipstick?

Open racism thrown at whites is ok. And in some cases the ones doing the racism are fellow whites, kissing black ass, with their gatorade flavored lipstick.

If Gatorade were a pussy, it would be thoroughly fucked. Fucked with a black cock, and having it's baby, going on welfare, and then onto Jerry Springer. The black Gatorade baby.

And finally, I kinda liked the gatorade gum.

Anonymous said...

Big Fan my ass. I just can't fathom why anyone would waste their time watching these monkeys showing off week after week playing sports while ignoring the havoc they cause on a daily basis in every other facet of American life.

Phalluster said...

Wow, I'd never heard of that disgusting movie "Big Fans". Do I dare watch it?

A black athlete beats up a white fan, and he refuses to press charges because of the aesthetic injustice of systemic racism. Could someone be so solipsistic in real life?

Yes, they can. In 2003, Michigan's star cornerback and now-NFL player Marlin Jackson smashed a beer bottle over a kid's head during a fight at an off-campus house party. Remarkably, the football fan refused to press charges, and the team had a good year.

But the story gets better. This "fan" waited until 2005 to sue the newly-professional Jackson for $10 million dollars, citing long-term medical complications from injury. Such a scurrilous claim inspired Jackson to counter-sue, and he was awarded $225,000 by the Washtenaw County Court jury for damages to his reputation and a loss of draft status.

This would have been an excellent plot twist for "Big Fans", where the black posse that has swarmed the tiny white man and savagely beaten him is then allowed to sue him for character defamation, as his white guilt has forbidden him from telling his own story.

Maybe I will pitch this sequel to Michael Rapoport.

Hirsch said...

It's true there were a few white men in the Gatorade's newer=better commercial, but there absolutely no blacks in the grainy, pre-modern footage. Gatorade patting themselves on the back in this commercial, as if they were responsible for desegregation kind of reminds me of cigarette companies who targeted women, saying that they could emancipate themselves by smoking in public. They should have included some footage of black athletes beating the shit out of each other on the court. We didn't have this sort of behavior before the great "revolution" of which Gatorade speaks.

I'm more of a boxing fan myself. I've noticed that it's rare to see two white men disrespecting each other at a press conference, yet it's almost mandatory for two black men to turn a presser into a brawl.

Call it "progress."

Anonymous said...

did you know africanized honeybees are more aggressive than european honeybees? no joke, look it up.

Hirsch said...

"Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator" is superior to Gatorade in every way. Brawndo has what plants crave: electrolytes.

Desiree said...

"...kiss black ass. Just put the lipstick on, red lipstick, and kiss black ass till that ass turns red from the lipstick...."

What shade of red lipstick are you wearing in this seemingly well thought out scenario, CWN? You could be more of a 'coral' than red. What season are you?

Where does my black ass sign up?

"If Gatorade were a pussy, it would be thoroughly fucked. Fucked with a black cock, and having it's baby, going on welfare, and then onto Jerry Springer."

Well, at least the Gatorade pussy would be satisfied.

I mean, really, is this not the same as those numbnuts from the NAACP freaking out over the those 'black hole' cards?

Such hypocrisy is astounding, and quite indicative of some serious inferiority-driven paranoia.

Gatorade is nasty, by the way. It's liquid sugar and oil. Who friggin' cares?

Stuff Black People Don't Like said...

Black Guy,

I am a big fan of

And if you read the piece I did on Alvin Greene, you'd see that I wrote it ISN'T about race, but blanket stupidity on the part of South Carolina Democratic voters.

Democracy is a harsh mistresses. She'll give you all sorts of vile STDs and no amount of medical help can help the situation.

CWN said...


"Well, at least the Gatorade pussy would be satisfied."

No, I think you meant raped. The Gatorade pussy would be well raped.

Joe said...

Brawndo: It's got what eggplants crave!

Phalluster said...

that gatorade commercial was the first in a series. i just saw one with a superimposed venus williams blasting serves at a dainty silent-movies damsel with a badminton racquet.

funny how we have "evolved".