Wednesday, February 10, 2010

#472. The Winter Olympics

Black people don't like the snow. They especially don't like errant snowballs thrown haphazardly in the general vicinity of where they might be located, if in fact that Black person is in the unfortunate realm where snow is accumulating.

Case in point, as of the 2000 census, the United States has 36 million Black people comprising roughly 13 percent of the total population. A staggering 54 percent of all Black people live in the south, and these states are known for producing hot temperatures and are routinely devoid of snow in the winter months. Convenient for Black people and conducive to pleasant winters that lack any errant snowballs.

This link will take you to a rundown of Black people's percentage of each state in the union. Notice the colder the state, the near single digit percentage of Black people.

It is said April is the cruelest month, but Black people know that December through February are much worse and supplant T.S. Elliot's prose with its frosty temperatures. A handful of dust won't cause dismay among Black people, but a handful of snow will do the trick.

Sadly, these facts of Black people and their complete disregard for snow, cold weather state-less living and errant snowballs add up to a simple conclusion - they don't like to be cold.

Thus, when Byrant Gumbel complained about the lack of Black people participating in the 2006 Winter Olympics, he was missing important variables that point to this simple truth:
"Finally, tonight, the Winter Games. Count me among those who don’t like them and won’t watch them ... Because they’re so trying, maybe over the next three weeks we should all try too. Like, try not to be incredulous when someone attempts to link these games to those of the ancient Greeks who never heard of skating or skiing.

So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention.
Try not to point out that something’s not really a sport if a pseudo-athlete waits in what’s called a kiss-and-cry area, while some panel of subjective judges decides who won ... So if only to hasten the arrival of the day they’re done, when we can move on to March Madness — for God’s sake, let the games begin."


Jack said...

They may not like snow or cold weather but they sure as hell like the welfare dollars in the northeast. Closer to the government tit I suspect.

charlie sierra said...

Jeez, even Brian "Gumball" has bought into the brainwashing that only Blacks are athletes. What would the public reaction be if a White sports journalist were to disregard all Black athletes and the summer olympics as so much fluff? Yeah, he'd be caught in a shitstorm of outrage. Mr. "Gumball" can't stand to see amazing Caucasion superstar athletes doing things Black athletes can only dream about. Poor little man.

Anonymous said...

A Black guy just won a gold medal in speed skating today.

Anonymous said...

Speed skating is really just running funny with skates on. Once a black guy figured that out, he won a medal in it.

Anonymous said...

I go skiing every year and have only seen two black people, a husband-wife, in all those years. Some people say it's because black people are poor. I don't believe it. They just don't like the cold and they're not into extreme sports. I've never seen a black person river rafting either.