Sunday, November 14, 2010

#1003. Clarence Clemons Clapping

Editors note: Gear up for a flurry of new entries tomorrow and this week.

Black people are big fans of dancing, with many people believing Black people to be the personification of dancers. Quite often, Black people use white people as the punch line of their jokes, saying derisively to fellow Black people who can't dance: "You dance like a white girl/boy."

Media (whether through music, movies, television or other forms of popular culture) shapes the general populations perception of reality and a deliberate move to codify Black as 'cool' and 'hip' and white as 'square' has been an on-going strategy for years.

 The Onion recently satirized the lack of Black nerds in film and television, which only further underscores this point. Steve Urkel and Carlton Banks were on television years ago and nearly forgotten today.

SBPDL found the epitome of uncool recently while watching a Bruce Springsteen music video from the 1980s, Dancing in the Dark. Amid a sea of white people, The Boss danced to one of his top pop hits while saxophonist Clarence Clemons stood around looking like that last party guest still lingering after the party had officially ended.

Doing his best to fit in, Clarence is reduced to being caught on film performing a double-clap maneuver that is captured for the benefit of future generations, much to the chagrin of Black people everywhere.

In that song, Springsteen sings a line that cuts to the core of the message behind SBPDL: You can't start a fire without a spark.

Lord of the dance Clemons is not, with the double-clap move shockingly not a joke but a page right out of the Minstrel show book.

You can't start a fire without a spark.

 Stuff Black People Don't Like includes Clarence Clemons clapping, for the music video to Dancing in the Dark is remembered less for introducing the world to Courtney Cox, but more for the hilarious double-clap move by the lone Black guy at the venue.

The ultimate put-down for a person who lacks a high level of dancing adroitness would be: You look like Clarence Clemons. 

Clemons will always be out-stepped, but never, ever out-clapped.





29 comments:

Cry me a river said...

Yeah Blacks sure love to dance. Just look at the amount of black dancing movies their are. Stomp the yard, Step up, Honey.

Steve Urkel was a goofy kid. Too bad not every black guy is like that.

"Editors note: Gear up for a flurry of new entries tomorrow and this week."


I can hardly wait for that onslaught Paul. I never would have guessed that was your name. lol

Hirsch said...

If black people don't like this guy, I wonder what they would think of someone like Charlie Pride? Speaking of Springsteen, I always thought Ben Stiller did a better impression than Adam Sandler.

Artur said...

Meanwhile, the New York Times do what they can to keep the myth alive :

crimesofthetimes.blogspot.com

Desiree said...

This post really does say a lot about this site, I have to say. The words 'dubious' and 'arbitrary' come to mind first, though...

This double clap move is not something just done by Clarence Clemons. Please. That is a white move as with most moves demonstrating lack of rhythm. Several years back when I was forced against my will to attend church, I took pleasure in laughing at some white churchgoers who could not--to save their own life--clap to a really simple drum beat.

Everyone in the sanctuary (which includes many blacks, since black people love Jeezus) claps in unison and here are these lone white people out of sync. Even funnier was when they would stop, wait to catch up, and still miss the beat.

Hilarious. Makes Wednesday night Bible study more palatable for a teen.

So, sorry. White people still are the most rhythmless bunch. I don't even think this is racist, either; it's just fact. Ellen DeGeneres' dancing may be 'cute' or 'quirky' but it's still bad...

The only whites I've ever seen who know how to dance is Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire. But there are still black people who dance better and more naturally. Like Michael Jackson...

Blue Eyed Devil said...

LOL.....Clarence Clemons only the best clap, double clap clapper ever. "But why ain't that man bustin off some moves Yo?"

Stuff Black People Don't Like said...

Life is too short to be serious all the time. To me, this is one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

The double-clap move never fails to make me laugh.

Anonymous said...

"So, sorry. White people still are the most rhythmless bunch."

And blacks have low IQs.

Funny how you have no difficulty noticing racial differences, just as long as it excludes black inferiority.

"Kip" Chadwick Heartstone, III said...

Desiree's observation of the whites trying to clap to the beat reminds me of blacks in school.

So, sorry. Black people still are the most brainless bunch. I don't even think this is racist, either; it's just fact.

Blue Eyed Devil said...

Sadly and yet again the resident HIGHLY educated female negro doesn't get the spirit of the entry. I don't think the entry was in any way, shape, or form trying to establish white folks as having any great degree of dance prowess. A great deal of us don't. However, seeing old Clarence double clapping it up in the video kind of kills the stereotype that All blacks are fantastic dancers. He was somewhat lacking, which made the entry all the more funny. There, I broke it down it for you. Get it? Got it? Doubtful.

Anonymous said...

Desiree said... White people still are the most rhythmless bunch. I don't even think this is racist, either; it's just fact.
===============================
I don't even think this is a racist Web site; it's just fact. Funny, yes; fact; yes; but racist? No, not a bit.

--Mencken--

Desiree said...

SBPDL:

"Life is too short to be serious all the time."

Oh, please!

I will stop being serious when you marry a black woman, have a truckload of mulatto kids, and wear your hair in cornrows.

And no sooner will you do that than me believing in 'black run America'. Pbbbtt!

This post shows one thing (outside of what I'd previously mentioned): you really cannot stop thinking about black people. What person searches the Boss on Youtube and the resultant search returns provide impetus to write a blog entry about something black people allegedly don't like?

That's right. We all hear the crickets chirping on your end! No one but you would do such a thing.

White people are rhythmless. Oh well! The few blacks that are kinetically-challenged will not change the biological predispositions of your lot!



@ cry me a river bitch:

"I can hardly wait for that onslaught Paul. I never would have guessed that was your name. lol"

Oh, look, how sweet. Our little "Latino" (in quotes, of course, as to not offend his sensibilities) angel is on a first name basis with his mentor. Well, bless his heart...

Yes, I agree. I thought our Humble Narrator would be a Kyle, a Zack, or a Brandon. Something totally lacking in 'swag'. What did you think? Something cool like Slash or Blade? No way. 'Paul' is a little more pedestrian than Cody and Ranger but I guess it fits a lil white boy from the 'Burbs!

What's your name, pray tell? God forbid it's Paco Nacho Sanchez! (I'm only teasing... no knotted knickers, please)

Anonymous said...

"White people are rhythmless."

And black people are unintelligent.

See, we agree.

Anonymous said...

I am beginning to have conflicting feelings towards African Americans> There defiantly appears to be enough independent empirical evidence to conclude (or at least consider) that Sub-Saharan Africans produce intelligent individuals at a lower rate than other races. This seems obvious and should be considered when discussing race relations. This does NOT make any form of racial hatred and enforced oppression excusable.

American Blacks DO produce intelligent, talented, and positively influential members of society and these individuals should be accepted without prejudice. However, Society seems to be doing a tremendous disservice to most blacks by holding them all up to the expectations set by their most talented and intelligent. Whites are not treated with this expectations. I come from one of those small mountain towns where the elevation is higher than the population and I can attest that not all whites are created equal. Whites with lower IQ, motivation, or talent are not expected to achieve greatness but still achieve a happy life and an honest living.

I feel that it is psychologically destructive to expect positive results from any entire population. I believe that failure to achieve cognitively at the same level as talented individuals of any race creates a population emotionally and socially stunted. I am referring to the contemporary African American in terms of the growing achievement gap, increased crime, and general anti-social behavior.

My point is that blacks could still be productive, beneficial members of society if they were not consistently expected to succeed at an equal level. As a country, we should actively track education so talented and motivated members of every race can receive education apart from the distractions of underclass culture and lowest common denominator curriculum. Less intelligent/motivated people could receive vocational training and basic civics so they can be prepared for a full career in a skilled blue collar worker. Treating everybody as equals is part of any free society, but forcing everybody to be equal feels like another form of subjugation.

-GB

Cry me a river said...

I think Paul Kersey is a great guy. He writes what the mainstream media doesn't want everyone to know. And this blog is where I learn everything that I know about Stuff That Black People Don't Like.

SBPDL sounded like his name would be Damien. A name with powerful evil connotations.

I already knew you were black. Desiree is a typical black name.Desiree Name given to OVER 9,000 black females all over the world.

Cry me a river said...

Desiree

You must have liked being called a "bitch" because I don't even say that anymore.

Desiree is a black name, often associated with fat ugly clap carrying prostitutes, bitches and or hoes, or nigresses in general.

Just like old times. Huh.

Anonymous said...

"So, sorry. White people still are the most rhythmless bunch. I don't even think this is racist..."

That's funny, when I read this it seemed racist to me.

Anonymous said...

"What's your name, pray tell? God forbid it's Paco Nacho Sanchez! (I'm only teasing... no knotted knickers, please)"

What a racist bitch! I guess it's ok to say racist things as long as you immediately say your joking. What an f n hypocrite!

Hirsch said...

I hate to say this, but that picture of Clarence Clemens looks gayer than a french poodle in a Liberace outfit riding the teacups at Euro Disneyworld.

Don said...

@ Hirsch 6:37am

Thanks brother, I just shot tea thru my nose on my keyboard from laughing so hard at that one!!.

Percy Kittens Reloaded said...

Anonymous wrote: "My point is that blacks could still be productive, beneficial members of society if they were not consistently expected to succeed at an equal level."

I think just meeting minimum standards would be nice, and by "minimum standards" I mean not having 7 out of 10 children out of wedlock, committing 6x as much crime as the next demographic, not having 3 out of 4 black males between 18-49 in jail, prison, probation or on parole, and not having high school drop-out rates in excess of 30 or 40%. I don't think THAT is too much too ask for. No one expects every black person to be the next George Washington Carver.

Desiree wrote: "White people still are the most rhythmless bunch. I don't even think this is racist, either; it's just fact."

I'm going to give Desiree a pass on this one because, I think, in her own way, unwittingly verified what many of us believe about other races: that there are profound differences among races and that some of it is genetic. What else can what make from Desiree's comment? Either black people are born with genetic gifts that make them not only great dancers but people who can pick up the rhythm of a song on the first listening, or they have nothing better to do with their lives and so they spend an inordinate amount of time learning to dance.

Remember the Maybelline commercial that says: "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline." Well, maybe they're born with the gift of song and dance in their dna.

Reminds me of the South Park episode where Cartman was trying to put a band together. He asked Token to fill in on bass guitar. Token said he didn't have a guitar in the house. Cartman shot back: 'Look in your basement. Every black family has a guitar.' To Token's surprise, there was a guitar in house. Later he joins Cartman's band, but insisted he would be no good because he'd never played guitar before. Cartman told him: 'Token, you're black. Trust me, you can play the guitar.' Token grabs a pick and strums the guitar, instantly picking up the song and is able to play the guitar and follow the sheet music. Token yells "Goddammit" when he realizes Cartman was right the whole time.

Maybe white people are genetically predisposed to being bad dancers. But it's okay to say that because as long as we're insulting white people with racist rhetoric we're not really hurting anyone; white people don't count, and black people can't be racist, so it's all good.

Desiree said...

@ cry me a river bitch:

"SBPDL sounded like his name would be Damien. A name with powerful evil connotations."

Oh. my. fucking. God! Even in your praise of our Beloved Paul, you relate him, not even surreptitiously, to a little 'white devil'.

SBPDL, we have found our low end of the Bell Curve! (Or perhaps your most astute patron? Hmm...)

"Desiree is a black name, often associated with fat ugly clap carrying prostitutes, bitches and or hoes, or nigresses in general."

Oh, jeez, I upset you, cry me a river (bitch).

Yes, Tracy Ullman, that formidable comedienne, played a character called "Ruby Romaine" who likewise stated the name "Desiree" used to be a beautiful French name, now it's a black girl's name.

Ruby was my favorite character.

Hirsch was accused of releasing 'squid ink' on another thread; I think your shoes may be wetter than his with that one! I hope you aren't wearing sandals!

"You must have liked being called a "bitch" because I don't even say that anymore."

Yes, actually. More than a little bit. Of course, that little doozy has less je nais quoi than 'dumb fucking whore'. That one always gets me going! Blah.

No, it's just a constant reminder of your own infantile thought processes previous. Eventually, I will adopt your new name. I just don't feel like it now...


@ anonymous 11:27pm:

"What a racist bitch! I guess it's ok to say racist things as long as you immediately say your joking. What an f n hypocrite!"

Oh, please. "Paco Nacho Sanchez" is a wonderful name.

It's not like I said "God forbid, it's Paco Nacho Cheesy Gordita Crunch".

Now that would have been racist...

Desiree said...

Percy Kittens, you are so wrong it is sickening.

Of course, I will just take it in stride. We will have to agree to disagree, although I do believe white people tend to not be able to dance as effectively as minorities (this includes Asians and Latinos, too).

This is not a bad thing and your kneejerk reaction suggests that it must be a source of shame for whites. I don't know why!

Some people have dancing abilities; some don't. I wasn't going to reveal but I cannot dance. If you want to bow to the 'biology argument' (and I will present no defense in this exchange), could my quarter white ancestry possibly be to blame?

Hmm...

Please stop with the 'racist' thing. I find it so astounding that whites on this site can even level that charge in this direction. Are you people blind? It is either we all are racist hypocrites or you people need to learn to take responsibility for your thought processes without shifting the blame.

Are you not men? Girly-men, perhaps?

By the way, Perce, no one cares about your battery status. Phbbbt!

Anonymous said...

OMG - check out this food fight in Oakland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnWlTyZLQhQ&feature=player_embedded

Percy Kittens Reloaded said...

Anonymous wrote:
"OMG - check out this food fight in Oakland"

LOL! I just came into this forum to post a link to the same video!

Several years ago Denny's had to settle some civil rights lawsuits that alleged discrimination against black customers. As part of the settlements, Denny's began aggressively recruiting black applicants for management positions, current staff were sent through "sensitivity training", and Denny's began investing heavily in Afro-centric causes and communities, including sponsoring MLK-birthday related celebrations. No word yet on what responsibility, if any, black customers will have when patronizing this dining establishment.

Don said...

Disarray said: So, sorry. White people still are the most rhythmless bunch. I don't even think this is racist, either; it's just fact.

So sorry, black people are still the most intellectually & morally stunted bunch. I don't even think this is racist either, it's just a fact.

Porter said...

Re: Food fight video linked above. Well that was an interesting black prom. "Waiter, could I get a refill on my tea?"

Also, listen to the ambient sounds during the melee, the screeches are indistinguishable from an agitated troop of chimps.

Anonymous said...

Desiree: "Please stop with the 'racist' thing."

This is getting really comical.

Cry me a river said...

Desiree

Damien is a name with powerful evil connotations. Ever since The Omen came out. How is that relating him to a "white devil".

Just like you trying to upset me with "Paco Nacho Sanchez". I know I upset you.

In the "Are we already the walking dead" article. You say "I am not uniquely picking on Cry Me a river bitch. I am just a little perturbed by his devotion to Whitey, the system. He can like white values (whatever THAT is) but why does he have to be racist against blacks?"

In the "A Veterans Day Thought: President Bush Bowed Before the Awesome Power of BRA" article You said "If I was Latina, Cry Me a river bitch, I'd give you a good talking to. You make me very sad. No lie, you do.....

:-( "

I'm reminded of you're "infantile thought processes previous" every time you post.

Post Suicide said...

We can't say anything mean about black people, so let's be really nice about the child-raping, wife-beating, petrol-sniffing, white-bashing, alcoholic, welfare leaching under-race of America.