|Get out of Lanessa's way or else!|
Throw into this already combustible situation the idea that all people will be forced to endure waiting in lines (Black people don't like waiting in lines) to enter, shop and eventual check out and you have a recipe for hilarity and unfortunately, chaos.
In Wisconsin, we got exactly that:
Crime Beat Wisconsin - Black Friday 2010 saw the threat of violence at a toy store in Madison, Wisconsin, according to police.Who was this individual, you might wonder? One Lanessa L. Lattimore:
Local authorities say a woman has been arrested and is accused of threatening to shoot other shoppers as she tried to cut the line in front of them to get the Black Friday specials offered by a local Toys "R" Us, reports NBC 15.Com.
The TV news station has the incident report from the Madison Police Department that reveals "several hundred shoppers were waiting in line for the Toys "R" Us store to open when a 21-year-old woman attempted to move to the front of the line."
11/25/2010 - 10:06 PM
7309 West Towne Way
Lanessa L. Lattimore- 21 year old Middleton resident
On 11/26/10, several hundred shoppers were waiting in line for the Toys "R" Us store to open when a 21-year-old woman attempted to move to the front of the line.
She was confronted by numerous shoppers and in turn she made threats to retrieve a gun and shoot the shoppers.
No gun was found and the suspect was arrested for disorderly conduct and taken to the Dane County Jail.
Posted Friday, November 26, 2010 --- 7:00 a.m.
Incident report from the Madison Police Department:
11/25/2010 - 10:06 PM
7309 West Towne Way
21 year old Middleton Woman
On 11/26/10, several hundred shoppers were waiting in line for the Toys "R" Us store to open when a 21-year-old woman attempted to move to the front of the line. She was confronted by numerous shoppers and in turn she made threats to retrieve a gun and shoot the shoppers. No gun was found and the suspect was arrested for disorderly conduct and taken to the Dane County Jail.
Black people don't like waiting in lines; suffer from extreme levels of income inequality; and harbor intense resentment at business owners who deem frequent visits from Black people a detriment to business and eventually cause for shuttering doors. Black Friday might bring in quick profits to off-set poor consumer confidence and spending in other fiscal quarters, but it help illustrates why the day after Thanksgiving is indeed labeled Black.
We do live among The Crazies. Normal people don't wake up nor camp out for Black Friday, and that is the official policy of Stuff Black People Don't Like. Something is seriously wrong with this country when we celebrate discounts by waking up at early hours to visit stores and pillage them for deals with the efficacy of 18th century pirates on the hunt for booty.
More stories of Black Friday will be discussed as they become public knowledge. No stories yet of people being stomped to death, but this story from Buffalo is pretty funny.
Always remember: if you see a line and Black people are in it, don't push. You might have either a lawsuit on your hands or threatened with gun violence.
Indianapolis had some fun with Black people and lines on Black Friday:
An Indianapolis woman was arrested today after she argued with shoppers at a Walmart checkout on Black Friday.
Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department reported an off-duty officer working at the Walmart Supercenter, 10617 E. Washington St., had to intervene when customers were arguing about a person accused of cutting in line at a checkout counter.
The officer asked Requita Sullivan, 29, Indianapolis, to exit the store, but as she walked toward the exit, she continued to argue with other store patrons who were in line, according to IMPD Sgt. Paul Thompson, a department spokesman.
The woman was arrested on a preliminary charge of trespass, a misdemeanor.
In Augusta, Georgia, a Black "Black Friday" shoplifter stabbed a Marine who merely tried to intervene and stop an attempted theft:
A Marine reservist is sent to the hospital after he's stabbed by a suspected Black Friday shoplifter at Best Buy. Deputies say the shoplifter was trying to get away with electronics when the Marine reservist stepped in.A mall was evacuated because of a fight that broke out (this happened in Los Angeles). A Wal-mart was evacuated near Sacramento. A Toys "R" Us in Wisconsin needed police protection; Blue "Black Friday" for Black shoppers in Palm Beach.
Cpl. Phillip Duggan is recovering from a stab wound in his back after investigators say Tracy Attaway stabbed him after the Marine reservist stopped him from getting away.
All week it's been people lined up outside of Best Buy for Black Friday. On this Black Friday though, deputies cars lined the outside of the building after investigators say a Marine reservist is stabbed by an attempted shoplifter.
"It was like wow! I can't believe he pulled that knife," Retired Marine and Toys for Tots volunteer, Larry Frelin said. "But those Marines acted instinctively."
Larry Frelin and a group of Marines were outside the store collecting Toys for Tots when it all started.
"We heard some noise going on in the inside and then we were thinking people were fighting over gifts," Frelin said. "We were thinking how ridiculous can that be?"
But it wasn't crazed shoppers, investigators say it was one attempted shoplifter, Tracy Attaway. Store officials say he was trying to steal a laptop and cameras before he was stopped by an employee. It was then he pulled out a knife and rushed for the door to get away with the goods.
"They jumped on top of him and they pulled him down," Frelin said he witnessed. "It took about five different people on top of him, but unfortunately he had a knife. He brought the knife around and managed to get it in the back of the Marine."
Here's a Black Friday fight that almost broke out at a Target in Florida; here's a fight that did take place. Gotta love it!